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You Know I’m Bad—for Some Moore…

Ohh…are you being good? Behaviors can be learned by observation, example, order, or correction. What is the difference between how behaviors are learned and corrected in humans and animals? 

TRAINING BEHAVIOR IN HUMANS
The first way humans learn behavior is through observational learning of a behavior, attitude, or emotional expression. A baby, even before understanding words, observes how to act from watching actions and gestures from others, as was discovered by Albert Bandura, an American-Canadian psychologist in 1961. When a baby is just over a year old, the baby starts to learn the association of gestures with words. Parents introduce words which accompany gestures to indicate simple orders such as “yes”, “no”,  “stop”, “don’t”, and “come here”. The baby begins to develop vocabulary and respond with gestures to communicate. Once a child reaches adolescence, and are able to distinguish between right and wrong, they may question why they are asked to do something. They are either obedient to rules or use abstract reasoning to determine how they will react. A person might be conditioned to follow a rule, and do so in obedience, simply because they know it is right or wrong. This is typical of younger children. However, as a child grows into adulthood, they use reasoning to consider the options they have and what consequences might be associated with these decisions.

Positive Conditioning
Conditioning Behavior
Behaviors can be conditioned with rules, procedures, and expectations in place. Rules have set consequences which are most effective if they are served as soon as a rule is broken. Rules are stated and understood at the beginning of any endeavor, and if a rule is broken, there is a punishment which should be expected. Procedures on the other hand, outline the how-to process for an expected behavior of which there are no consequences. It is important for teachers to have these in place at the beginning of the school year. It establishes structure and guidelines that help prevent unruliness in the classroom. Without these stated and enforced, classes can be difficult to manage because with each individual comes to the classroom with their own idea of what is expected.

Modeling is another way to teach expected behavior in a positive manner. Both children and adults learn visually through observation and being shown how to do something. In a social setting, a person might observe other people and adjust how they act to match them appropriate to the setting. A teacher might use modeling in the classroom to point out how a student is demonstrating good behavior for the class to follow. An airline attendant may show travelers on an airline how to use oxygen masks in case of emergency.

Ordering is another way people learn to behave. Firmly, yet respectfully giving an order can be effective. Yelling orders, demanding behavior, without any respect, can have very little effect other than trying to intimidate the person to conform. Within the workplace, a manager might give orders to their staff that they need to stay on task to meet a deadline.

Having consequences in place helps behavior stay on track but gives a person the freedom of being able to know what happens if they don’t follow them. Part of the responsibility of being an adult is being able to have the freedom to make decisions by oneself taking into consideration consequences. Considering the consequences before doing something that may break the rules, helps a person evaluate whether a bad behavior is worth the punishment. Before a person breaks the law, they should consider that they might get caught, be fined, or go to jail. The behavior or result of the behavior, might be more important for an individual than the consequence. For others, the consequences restrain the person from pursuing a behavior which could compromise their safety or that of another person’s.

There are people who also have erratic behaviors which can be the result of medical issues or affected by drugs or alcohol. Behavior also affected by spontaneity, and irresponsibility—at the spur of the moment what seems like a good idea overcomes any rational thought process. Unwritten rules of our society might also affect behavior which is erratic, and these who act out of what is acceptable within society can be subjected to social consequences.

Positive Reinforcement
Positivity is always a good rule of thumb when it comes to behavior and reformation. A responsible person with a well-formed conscience is able to correct themselves. Although not immune to human error, they realize when their behavior is out of line, and seek to change their behavior to do what is right. Even if it is bad behavior that is repeated, they have a positive attitude knowing it is something which they can work on.

A positive attitude can be used to correct bad behavior in another person or in oneself. Even the most self-motivated person who wants to reform their behavior, is capable of slipping back into bad behavior. If a person has a positive attitude and can forgive themselves of their imperfection, they can continue to persevere at good behavior until they perfect it, and probably be very successful in their efforts. For those who need another person to hold them accountable, a positive spirit from an accountability partner can keep a person on track especially in the cases when temptation tries to win out over resolution. Just like a bridge from old behavior to new behavior, using positive reinforcement can help pave the way over falling into despair caused by not holding to new resolutions. People like to understand that they are good and are doing a good job. By complimenting a person on their achievements and letting them know they are doing well can add wonders to their morale and self-confidence. Finding qualities that can be praised as part of reformation helps encourage correction.

Using incentives is another way to reward success. Especially for more challenging transformations of behavior, it is a good idea to have a plan in place. Strategizing how to change a behavior might include making a list of objectives of desired results, a list of reasons to serve as reminders of why it the transformation is necessary, and ideas for rewards for achievements along the way. Some behaviors take longer to change than others. Earning incentives for good behavior can make working for new resolutions more fun!

Life Experiences
Life experiences can motivate a person to change behavior. The life experience might be learned from one’s self or from witnessing the life experiences of others. A person might go through a life-changing experience which changes their perspective enough to make them committed to change their behavior. A person who becomes addicted to a substance might suffer in such a way that their situation ‘wakes them up’ to not continuing. The person can even find support with groups of others who can help them keep on the path of recovery and be committed to making better choices. Likewise, a person can learn from another’s experience. A friend’s story can leave such an impact which causes them to rethink their own behaviors and become committed to changing their own life.

Repetition
Repetition also contributes to correcting bad behavior. Repeating a mantra that a certain action should not be done, reinforces that it shouldn’t. Having constant reminders to stay on the path of good behavior helps keep resolutions at the forefront of the mind. Relearning helps build new habits to foster steady good behavior.   

Negative Conditioning
Correcting behavior the wrong way can be classified as forms of abuse. Physical contact, verbal correction, and manipulation are sometimes used as ways to correct, but they are also more likely to be classified as abuse. Whether physical contact is abusive or not is determined by the evidence, what the intent is, if a minor or adult is involved, how hard the force, and an evaluation of the severity from the damage. Examples of physical correction are grabbing an arm to hold it back, spanking a child, slapping a face, beating someone, burning someone, or hitting or harming a person using a weapon, rape and other ways. Verbal comments can also be abusive. Harsh words, yelling at a person, name calling, harassment are all ways which can cause emotional damage. Even if a person is angry, correcting a person should be done firmly, but using gentle words. It is usually unproductive to yell although it may help vent feelings. Manipulation is also commonly used as a last resort when no other means of correction seem to work. While this may be effective as a way to bring about the desired behavior in a person, there is deception involved which leads to mistrust and resentment. The short-term good of achieving correction, is brought about by the evil from manipulation. Correcting behavior in another person is more likely if it is the person’s willful choice to change, rather than by tricking them using deceptive means.

The Effects of Positive Reinforcement on Humans for Correcting Behavior
How effective is it to use positive reinforcement as a means for correction rather than negative reinforcement? For one it is more likely to have a successful outcome. People generally respond to positiveness better rather than being forced into correction. It also is less risky. Using negative means for correcting behavior show that the person correcting an individual has less control over the situation. They are resorting to force to yield an outcome. In many ways, it is the way an adult might correct a child who they have lost control over. They resort to yelling, spanking, or manipulation. Adults who have not mastered positive reinforcement can also use these methods as a way to correct other adults. It generally does not work, because by adulthood there is a knowledge of one’s own independency and an expectation of individual respectfulness. Positive reinforcement and patience is more likely to work for both children and adults. It builds up the individual and guides them to making better choices on their own. The result is that the adult is proud that they have achieved a desired behavior, because it was their decision to change. Using negative methods, forces behavior that is likely to only change out of fear of further abuse.

Effects of Therapy for Abuse and Disorders
Counseling is an effective means for those who seek to change their behavior, those who have been physically or emotionally abused, and for those with disorders. Counseling can provide positive reinforcement while the individual works through their individual situations. Sharing information in a counseling environment provides professional guidance in a safe environment, with a qualified professional.

The Success Rate of Prison as a Means of Effectively Correcting Humans
Persistence in changing one’s own behavior pays off as some behaviors can land a person in prison. Most prisons offer in-prison rehabilitation programs which help identify criminal tendencies and solve recidivism, a person’s relapse into criminal behavior. These in-prison rehabilitation programs have been successful in reducing recidivism by up to 35% to prevent future crimes. According to the California legislature, there are 8 significant criminal risk factors: antisocial behavior, antisocial personality, criminal thinking, antisocial relationships, poor relationships with family and/or spouse, low performance at school and at work, low social engagement for leisure or recreational activities, and substance abuse. Rehabilitation programs can help lower the criminal risk of people who display these characteristics. Prison education, employment, and health treatment programs offer a number of directions to prisoners can provide hope to prisoners setting them on a new road for their future.

TRAINING BEHAVIOR IN ANIMALS
Both humans and animals have the ability to be trained to change their behavior. In 1902, Ivan Pavlov, a Russian psychologist, studied behaviors in dogs and learned they could be trained to recognize an object to trigger a response. He noticed that a dog’s salivation changed when food was placed in front of the dog. Pavlov was able to condition a dog to have the same behavior using an unconditioned stimulus which was then associated with the response. For example, a dog started to saliva when there was food. A bell was introduced. The dog was trained that when a bell was present, food would be present. Therefore, the dog was conditioned to learn that the bell meant food and so he would start to saliva. When the bell was shown to the dog, the dog started to saliva because he knew that food was coming.

Symbols used to Trigger Behavior in Children and Adults
Conditioning is common in children especially in elementary school who are grasping new concepts of structure and order. They learn that certain symbols and colors have meaning and that they are expected to recognize and act on these. Teachers use call-and-response techniques to manage classroom behavior. Teachers teach students short, clever rhymes to let the student know they need to stop what they are doing and pay attention. They also use hand gestures and clapping as part of their call-and-response. Students respond to desired behaviors while having fun communicating back to the teacher that they understand what needs to be done. Adults also learn symbols which have meaning. Traffic signs are symbols of what behavior is expected from a driver or pedestrian. Behavior is trained so that we know how to drive and cross the street. There are also consequences which result when a driver or pedestrian does not follow these signs.

Similarities Between Learned Behavior in Animals and in Humans
Animals and humans learn behavior through positive reinforcement, observation, and repetition. Animals and humans respond to positive praise. Visually both learn what behavior is expected. Practicing behavior repeatedly helps master a new behavior. While most may assume that humans have a higher intellect than animals, this is not necessarily the case. Animals can be very intellectual and have the keen ability to sense danger, have an awareness of their surroundings, and the ability to communicate through sound. Most animals can be trained to new behaviors, although most respond to stimuli while humans are more likely to make decisions for their own new behavior for the sake of self-improvement.

Taming the Differences
It is more likely that an animal is subjected to physical conditioning as a way to learn behavior. It would be thought of as abuse to use a stick to train a child, but with a dog, there is no thought to using a stick or a leash for correction and to control them. Animals are submissive to humans, for whatever behavior the human wants of them—if no other reason of having no choice because of their confinement. They are taken from a community of same animals and are in a human’s kingdom, the house. They do not have any organizations they can call for help or support. At the mercy of the human, they hope for the best care. The human on the other hand at least has access to support organizations and resources available for abusive situations.

Human Differentiation Between the Behavioral Bias
Humans are conditioned best with intellect and a positive attitude. In George Orwell’s book 1984, he writes about a community called the Proles. These are people who have their own community within a larger government-controlled community they do not interact frequently with. The Proles are more concerned about their immediate world. They preserve the human spirit, are a feisty group of people, focused on love, hard work, are of a lower social level, and do not keep up with the world outside of their own. These Proles could be compared to the typical large retail stores of today, such as Walmart. As hearty, blue-collared employees they may have been with the store for many years and have built a bond and community with other employees who have been there for a long period of time. For these large discount retail stores, such as this one, it is typical that there is a community which forms within the store. The demographic is that of one which might be more social, less accepting of others, composed of individuals with lower education levels, a higher degree of attitude, and a need for order. These people need a structured system. They may fight the system with an attitude and break the rules but they need structure to align themselves to for productivity and success as individuals and as a whole. Obedience is also more likely, because rules and expectations are clear, but so is rebellion.

The next stage of education level is those who have a professional nature and maintain inner discipline and self-control. They readily adaptable to working with others. These people tend to accept others easier and realize that productivity is more important. Although structure is needed for behaviors, such as an HR policy, there isn’t much need for consequences for broken policy from management as all are expected to be adults. These employees require a looser managed structure because they are able to control their own behaviors.

People who are of an even higher intellect, need minimal to no structure. They typically are responsible for controlling others, and while they control themselves, they think in a wider capacity and have an ability to do more within their position. No rules can apply to them because they typically choose to live outside of any system’s rules. While they are capable of making larger decisions for the good of society or people, they also are capable of great damage. They typically do not misbehave, but they are not obedient to the small man’s laws. Overall, these people may break the rules or law, but typically they are loyal to their responsibility and make decisions for the good of people. Any bad behavior at an advanced level usually falls into loop-holes and is justified because the good outcome outweighs the bad. There is a reason in other words.

Correctional facilities apply to all. However the more intellect a person has and is a respected within society, despite whether what they do is good or bad, they are more likely not to go to a correctional facility. Quick thinkers also fall into this category as well, however, they are more likely to be institutionalized than those with caliber in society. Intellect is not necessarily defined upon education level. Speed is also a sign of intellect. Some people think so quickly they are able to twist the current system to their benefit and fool the entire population.

In the end, it is one’s own behavior for which one is ultimately accountable. Each must be responsible for guiding their own conscience for good and striving to go in the direction of good behavior over the tendency for making bad choices. This doesn’t necessarily mean a person lives less fully by having good behavior. It means they care about other people in the world who their behaviors may affect and for their own eternal good.


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Learning Behavioral Patterns, From the View of Private I

Impressions and Being You
Each person has their own individual identity. We have all learned how to respond to situations, and despite different upbringings, there is a general consensus by the population of what is considered acceptable behavior. Knowing how to respond using proper etiquette in any setting helps create a good impression of yourself, shows maturity of age, and knowledge of human respectfulness.

The impression you leave may be compromised if others are intent on damaging your reputation. With advances in technology, the ability to view anyone remotely is accessible to almost anyone. Remote applications which are easily available, provide the ability to view and speak overhead to someone anywhere, despite any privacy laws. As this becomes more popular, a person’s good image is nearly impossible to preserve. While it may be natural to present yourself at your best while in public, there are many situations where a person does not wish to be viewed or have their life publicized. Several examples of this might include using the restroom, bathing, romance or other interactions with others. Everyone deserves privacy in their own life. Without question there are moments of privacy that no one would want watched or analyzed.

No Kidding, Children Too
Children likewise should be immune to remote viewing. While it may seem to be the ideal way to monitor a child by having a virtual babysitter spying overhead, it teaches the child that this is the norm. A child who is raised with stalkers overhead, learns to communicate with them, and generally learns to welcome them into their environment. It would seem that this would be on radar for Child Protective Services and fall into the exploitation of children category, even if parents give access. There truly is no way to control what is being viewed by the remote viewer. Psychologically it is similar to a child having imaginary friends, except they do not make them up, the remote viewer really exists. The spies overhead have the ability to order the child, view the child live, zoom, and even x-ray them. The child learns a different approach as an alternative to healthy interactions and real friendships. The child learns that every area of their life is subjected to being watched, even if no one is there, without boundaries, as way of life. They do not question that it is an acceptable way to communicate and interact.

Spying Risks All Around
For the Victim: Along with viewing, spies who use these remote applications on a regular basis, are able to notate behavioral patterns and unique styles of the victim they are watching. This detracts from the value each person has. Just as a company might be spied on to gather trade secrets, a person who is watched has their attributes stolen from them making them unmarketable. The victim feels their soul stripped as those things which compose their person are publicly viewed and shared. Much like automated artificial intelligence programs, spies are able to gather information on the way the individual lives their life as well as their schedule to predict next behaviors. Learning behaviors and patterns of a person can result in identity theft, stealing the personality and information about the victim and putting them at risk.

Further security concerns include not being able to escape remote viewers. People who use remote viewing methods can access anyone, any place, even outside, at any time of the day or night. Environments such as a car, an office, or a house offer no place to escape. Even outside, the victim can be watched real-time on trails in parks, in tents, in parking lots, and even in swimming pools underwater. For unwilling parties who do not want to be viewed, there is no escape. Having real-time audio access, the remote viewers also have the ability to speak live. There is no escape from their abuse constantly overhead, other than to block their comments by wearing headphones, which is unreasonable to wear all day and night.

For the Viewer: Beyond the affects that remote viewing has on the victim, it also affects the viewer who loses perception of the difference between watching a movie on screen and watching a personal life. Remote viewing quickly deteriorates the potential any human relationship might have by eroding trust. Besides creating a psychologically abusive environment that they cannot escape from, there are several other problems which arise from remote viewing that devalue human life and can potentially lead to addiction.

Threats Remote Viewing Causes:

1. Detracts from Human Worth. The first reason remote viewing is detrimental is it detracts from human worth. The appreciation of fully enjoying the personality and all the traits of another person is lost. Viewing becomes merely a form of entertainment. The problem is this entertainment quickly manifests to mockery, shunning, and comparison to others. It easily becomes a way to filter out any positives about a person, who has become nothing more than a detached, animated object on a screen. The spy begins to accentuate what they see and perceive as negatives.

2. Steals and Duplicates Personal Attributes. A second reason remote spying is a negative, is that there is a tendency to notice attributes or talents which the person excels at, to steal and duplicate. Any positive features are added to the spy’s personal portfolio or used to share with others to improve theirs. No longer are these attributes the selling points of the victim, but public knowledge. Instead of generating new talents or processes, they rely on duplicating what another does, to improve upon themselves. It would be better for the parties involved to freely share their own trade secrets from their own personal portfolios. Ripping off another’s personality, interests, way of speaking or behaving is not admirable. If these features were shared by the individual to another person it would be acceptable. If it was a celebrity who was admired for a trait, and it became a fad, this would be acceptable as well. However, those who spy on people to steal information rob another of what they may excel in. This is not to say that behaviors or traits are exclusive to each person. It is the way these attributes are shared which determines whether it is an offense. The maliciousness of those who spy often do this for their own self-improvement, to gather information to ‘help others’, for popularity, or to earn money. Regardless, it is for the downfall of the one they are spying upon.

3. Security Issue and Identity Theft. The third reason remote viewing should be resisted, is that monitoring and learning someone’s behaviors causes a security issue and identity theft. If a spy notates over time the intricacies of a person’s day or schedule, this can put the victim at risk. Noticing details such as how often a person does something, how they go about it, when, and why they make decisions, will give those who spy the ability to forecast next behaviors. They will predict in advance what they will do, where they will go, how they will interact, how they will react, as well as their bodily functions and reactions. While this type of micro-monitoring is suitable perhaps for a baby, this is not acceptable at all from adult-to-adult without permission. In fact it reflects the immaturity of these adults who consume their time monitoring the life of another, rather than improve upon their own life. There is no reason for the victim being viewed to even exist as all is known and any uniqueness duplicated.

4. Quelches Zeal for Life. Finally, remote viewing quelches the victim’s zeal for life. With all being stolen, and no privacy given, the victim feels violated by the second, unable to generate new energy and frozen with exploring and creating new material, because every second is known, seen and critiqued. The spy uses remote viewing to gain control and power over the victim in a world they cannot escape from. The spy pierces the victim’s creative and loving human soul to mold a generic spirit of nothingness. The victim becomes no more than an object, like an experimental rat, a thing to manipulate being subjected to conditions. Joy and zeal found in life is dampered if not made void entirely. The motivated spirit to take on new efforts and enthusiasm for new adventures is lacking because all is seen, and surprises or things prepared for are already revealed.

5. Addiction. Similar to temptations which have the ability to form into addictions, it is evident, there are several phases to the use of the remote application. The first phase is usually human inquisitiveness. A person is easily convinced of the idea of how enticing it would be to view another person’s life, hiding behind the screen of a remote device. The second phase of remote viewing is scrutiny. The spy begins to seek out oddities, errors, and flaws in the other person. The third phase of remote viewing is mockery. From these perceived discrepancies, the spy becomes disenchanted with the person and may even share negative attributes with others. Somewhere between phase 1 and 3 there is guilt associated with their actions. If the spy comes across the victim in public, there is usually a feeling of anger toward the victim or avoidance because of their spying. The fourth phase of remote viewing, which can happen at any stage, is addiction and dedication to the device. The pretend relationship psychologically becomes an actual relationship to the viewer. The fifth phase of remote viewing is fulfilling sexual needs fostered by the viewing the victim’s life. They may go to the extent of finding them in person and raping them, molesting them, or zooming in on sexual parts. Monetarily, it opens the door for a business of selling views to others for the same reason of inquisitiveness and entertainment. The human worth is dissolved to nothing but an object of entertainment.

The Psychosocial Impact
This poses the question, why people wouldn’t want to enjoy others but choose to spy on them instead. As a form of psychological abuse, those using remote viewing seem to possess social dysfunctional developmental issues. Many who currently are using remote viewing are between the ages of 35-70, well past the age range for when social maturity would be expected. An influential American psychologist, Erik Erikson, studied the development of humans in a social context. Taking a look at Erikson’s study with relation to remote spying proves psychosocial development is lacking in these users of remote viewing applications. While as adults they most likely have knowledge of how to interact with others in a healthy manner, their approach is contorted and damaging to good psychosocial skills interacting with others and in their own maturity.

Is this behavior evident of social immaturity for these adults or is this a contorted response to already learned psychosocial skills which they are using knowingly as a form of abuse? When a distortion to natural processes exists, there usually is crime, addiction, or disability. With full knowledge of what they are doing, this behavior is both immaturity, criminal, and can easily lead to addiction. These criminal-addicts are confused with their identity and lack confidence of interacting in a healthy manner with other people. They are confused and insecure about themselves much as pre-teens might be in their developmental stage of learning about themselves and how to interact within the world they live within. While this is not acceptable at any age, by the time a person is middle age or older, their psychosocial developmental stage should already be at an advanced stage of maturity.

Erikson’s Psychosocial Developmental Study
Erikson in his study of psychosocial development determined there are 8 stages which exist during the lifespan of a human from the time of birth through old age. The stages include Trust vs. Mistrust, Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt, Initiative vs.Guilt, Industry vs. Inferiority, Identity vs. Role Confusion, Intimacy vs. Isolation, Generativity vs. Stagnation, and Integrity vs. Despair. These stages describe the process a person goes through to reach adulthood, by learning how to interact with others and develop their personal identity, over the course of their life. Taking a closer look at the stages of this study can help understand developmental issues in the individuals who are addicted to using remote viewing and analyze where in these stages their maturity is lacking.

Trust vs. Mistrust – Infancy stage. Erikson sets this as the first stage of a person’s individual stage of development which occurs from birth through 18 months. Within this time, a person learns to trust others and learns that the world is a safe place. Rather than adding to a person’s safe environment, the spy creates mistrust in an individual’s life. Invading upon an individual’s personal boundaries, the spy uses remote viewing develops mistrust in a person who already understands trust and healthy interactions between people. They use this mistrust as a foundation to prevent relationships from forming and to crumble existing relationships. Friends, family, significant others, employers or anyone else who uses remote viewing to watch another person, immediately begins to cause mistrust to the relationship or potential relationship. Viewing another remotely watching their personal life without permission is a form of dishonesty, stealing, violation, and deception. In this first stage, the relationship is already disintegrating once the remote device is first used. If permission is granted by the party being watched, trust would still exist because boundaries would be respected. Since the spy is not given permission by the individual, it is a violation and creates distrust.

Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt – Early Childhood stage. In this stage, Erikson explains children who are 2-3 years old are developing a greater sense of self-control. As it relates to remote viewing, the spy does the exact opposite striving to destroy the self-control of the victim. Their ultimate desire is to obtain control and power over the person they are watching. They monitor all actions throughout the day to the very minute detail. Details are shared as concerns with others. They discuss any observation with others as if it were a group of parents watching a child needing to make decisions for them even in the smallest matter. Everyday decisions and actions by the victim are observed and are even verbally ordered by the person spying. Examples of this may be telling the victim what clothes to wear, what to eat, instructing personal routines and habits, critiquing weight, finding anything to nit-pick at and cutdown. In their desire to acquire all knowledge, they seek any opportunity to create shame and shame the person to others. It may not even be shameful activity which they shame. The spy understands shame as a means of power over the person they watch. There is no realization or importance of independence and responsibility of the adult. The spy seeks to try to destroy trust, confidence, the independence in the adult victim to gain a sense of power over the person.

Initiative vs. Guilt – Ages 3-5. The third stage in Erikson’s stages of development is where children learn the difference between good and bad, how to interact socially with others, the ability to make decisions, and how to lead others. Using remote viewing, the spy seeks to destroy initiative in the person they spy upon. The try to cause a sense of guilt in the victim by chiding any actions they disagree with. They break down self-motivation and confidence. They create a significant amount of limitations for what the victim can do discouraging any initiatives and effort. Doors are closed on any attempts to find a way out of a seemingly blocked situation telling the victim they are worthless.

Industry vs. Inferiority – Ages 6-11. In this stage, children learn the value of work, realize their successes and achievements, and their failures. They develop a sense of self-confidence. Using a remote means to view, the spy communicates to the victim all the many flaws they see, that they are an outcast, and that they do not belong in society. Whatever they look like, who they are as a person, their work, and whatever they do is seen as inferior. The spy then communicates the person’s perceived personal failures and inadequate work ability to sway the views of the community, which results in blocking the individually socially and professionally. The victim is painted as an outcast possessing no capabilities to contribute to society in any way whether personally, through relationships with others, volunteer work, paid work, or any initiatives. They are without a doubt categorized as an outcast and treated as such.

Identity vs. Role Confusion – Ages 12-18. In the 5th stage of ego development according to Erikson, a person establishes their personal identity and how they fit into society. The spy redefines the identity of the association of adult-to adult to superior-over-dysfunctional. It might be better understood as adult-over-child, although the person being watched is fully mature, responsible, able to function and is not a child. The spy seeks control and power and does not recognize the victim as fully independent or capable as a human. The victim, in the spy’s opinion, does not fit into society.

Intimacy vs. Isolation – Age 19-40. In this stage, the person learns how to have intimate relationships with others and establish their life together with others away from absolute loneliness and isolation. In this stage, humans grow in closeness, honesty, and trust with another. Using the remote device, the spy redefines relationships and intimacy by what they see on screen, much like being engrossed in a movie. They see the device as a true social interaction. The relationship to them exists while the person being viewed may not have even met the person spying or have any interaction with those who spy. What the spy views without permission, they use for the fulfillment of a need for a human relationship and personal sexual gratification. For most, this becomes an addiction, devoid of the human person’s presence.  A fake relationship develops in their mind, and so advances in realness, that the person is inclined to not think twice of progressing further with crimes of rape and molestation, fulfilling their desires, still not knowing the person nor having permission. They keep the victim in isolation, unable to meet other people. They discourage verbally overhead any other solicitations of acquaintances to the victim. If not swayed from association, new acquaintances are given remote viewing access to ensure discouraging further association. The remote viewing is the only relationship that exists as the victim is unwillingly watched by many people.

Generativity vs. Stagnation – Age 40-65. In this middle adulthood stage, there is a desire to contribute to the world and be involved with the community and society. Using the remote device, live views are sold out to create a community of more spies to watch the person’s personal life. Recorded views, and real-time view spots, are sold for additional money to feed curiosity, addictions, and mockery. While generating more video footage to sell to others, the spy thrives on building their own personal popularity to the community with what they sell. At the same time, they stagnate the life of the victim socially by turning their life and any nudity into an exploited show to watch and monetize. Work is also stagnated for the victim with any contribution to society whether paid, volunteer, initiative to the good of others terminated. The victim’s work and efforts are discouraged, blocked, and anti-promoted. Propaganda spread to the community leads to further isolation and stagnation for the victim deeming them indefinitely unwanted by society and unwelcome. Any effort for them to succeed or be incorporated into society is truncated.

Integrity vs. Despair – Age 65 to death. In this final stage, an individual reflects on whether their life was meaningful or if they have regrets over the life they’ve lived. They have a sense of fulfillment or despair. Those who use the remote device cause years to be lost, a sense of disparity, lack of dignity and worth, and detachment of the individual from society. The individual’s life only exists for the purpose of being exploited. The person they spy on is to them nothing but a waste of human life, and not just to them, but to all they speak of the person to. There is no future where one is watched 24/7 in a psychologically abusive environment, nor in one that extends to the community at large. Work and personal growth are controlled. This ability extends insomuch as to control life entirely with complete restrictions other than existence. Although the victim attempts many ways to achieve successes and progress despite a restrictive and monitored environment, the efforts are for naught, and as a result despair is likely to occur.

Moral Implications of Remote Viewing
Remote viewing affects the normal and healthy, psychosocial existence of an individual transforming their environment into one of abuse. Using the remote viewing affects human relationships while also affecting the life of an individual to make the private life of the individual public, disregarding their human dignity, and ultimately wasting the individuals worth and life. Rather than build up human worth in others and foster healthy human relationships, they seek to destroy morale and worth. They are satisfied only by the image on a screen, using it to the ruin of the victim as well as themselves. Beyond Erikson’s findings or any other behavioral model by other renowned psychologists, these spies do not follow the moral model of the universal teachings of religions which believe in the value of human dignity and worth, and goodwill for others. These people seek to destroy others and the joy they should experience in everyday life interacting with others. They tear at an individual’s unique worth of existence, ability to create, ability to contribute to society, and their reserved private space needed to nourish their spirit and person. In all essence the people using the remote device pretend to be God and destroy the God in other people by mutilating human dignity. 

Any religion would agree that a human should not seek to attain equality to God. It would also be agreed upon that human dignity and worth should be given to all people. Furthermore, robbing and stealing is not part of following any moral law either. We are not meant to be watched. Only God has absolute knowledge of every detail of our life. Any human who strives to do this is morally breaking the commandment of being in competition with God, attracted to the desire of having all knowledge, all control, and all power over a human. God gives humans freedom, whereas the spy who in many ways acts as God with God-like access, restricts freedom. God gives worth and human value, whereas the spy tears down an individual. As people we are called to be in community with each other, working together, loving each other, and building up each other. The spy strives to pull a person out of the community, subject them to isolation, and breeds hate and contempt from the population. God gives each person unique gifts and attributes to share with others, whereas the spy steals attributes and tries to create a society where all have the same attributes, or one where the more affluent can have all attributes of any person, while the victim is stripped of all attributes they have. Besides being highly offensive and destructive to the individual, the spy is morally being offensive and destructive to God and His Creation.

Remote viewing undermines human relationships and the human dignity of life. If permission is not granted, a person should not be watched. Behavioral patterns, personal attributes and abilities are unique to each individual which should be appreciated and treasured, rather than stripped behind a device that redefines the person as an object of entertainment to be scorned and annihilated. Humans need personal space to be able to function naturally and interact with others. Privacy is necessary for creativity, for motivation, to put forth our ability, to have a healthy degree of self-confidence and independency as an adult, to grow as individuals, to heal, to be intimate with others, to be genuine, to be loving people, to have joy in life, and ultimately to survive.


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The Stages of Psychosocial Development According to Erik H. Erikson
by Stephanie Scheck 

Patterns of Behavior:
Konrad Lorenz, Niko Tinbergen, and the Founding of Ethology

by Richard W. Burkhardt Jr.

Learning Cognitive-behavior Therapy: An Illustrated Guide
(Core Competencies in Psychotherapy)

by Dr Jesse H Wright MD PhD (Author), Gregory K Brown (Author),
Michael E Thase M D (Author), Monica Ramirez Basco PH D (Author), 
Glen O Gabbard (Editor)

Handbook of Surveillance Technologies: History & Applications
by J.K. Petersen (Author)

1984
by George Orwell


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Cher-Reading List

Enjoy reading, watching movies, and shopping? Cherbloggin has a list of products on each article page. Order by clicking on affiliate links on this page and throughout @cherbloggin on WordPress. There are over 500+ links to product recommendations including books, movies, appliances, gifts, and subscriptions. Here is a list of books I’ve recently read and enjoyed! Check back as I continue to add to this list with new books and media every couple of weeks.


Books
The Key the Doctrine of the Eucharist
by Abbot Vonier, foreword Peter Kreeft and Aiden Nichols
The richness of the sacrament of the Eucharist and the biblical meaning behind the tradition of the sacrifice at the Mass is explained in this book. I enjoyed this book so much, I read it twice.

Walking with Mary: A Biblical Journey from Nazareth to the Cross
by Edward Sri
Mary was obedient to God’s will, continuing to say yes even under the most difficult circumstances always trusting and believing in humbleness and obedience. This book takes a journey through Mary’s life and shows how she lives her life, filled with faith, with examples that can be applied to our own journey.

Jesus, The Way, the Truth and The Life
by Marcellino D’Ambrosio
If you have ever struggled with reading the Bible, this book pieces the stories and books of the Bible together with clarity using everyday language. There are interesting historical tidbits and facts included which enrich a person’s understanding of the Bible and the time in history in which Jesus lived.

The Power of Humility
by Fr. Candice Bourke
This book explains what being humble means in relation to God, other people, and in the way a person views themself. The power of humility changes a person to live a more virtuous life.

15 Days of Prayer with Thomas Merton
by Andre Gozier, O.S.B.
Thomas Merton, a Cistercian monk, draws from classic and monastic spirituality with daily suggestions of how to pray to have a stronger relationship with God.

Thank You for Being Such a Pain. Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People.
by Mark I. Rosen, PhD
This book provides spiritual guidance on how to deal with people who can be challenging and advice on how to work through troublesome relationships. There are several enlightening quotes and stories throughout this book to enjoy and learn from as gems of inspiration.

1984
by George Orwell
A classic novel, and thought-provoking book of what society is like controlled by a government which limits knowledge, demands conformity of lifestyle, and has no legal system but grave punishments for not being aligned with beliefs by the government. Orwell presents the idea of what it might be to exist in a world where Big Brother is always watching, love and free-thought is restricted, truths which have always been taught are re-written to new truths, and vocabulary changed to a new vocabulary.

Photoshop CC Classroom in a Book 2020
by Andrew Faulkner and Conrad Chavez
This book has easy to follow lessons for the most recent version of Photoshop with exercises to follow and a review at the end of each chapter. The book includes a link to download exercise files for each chapter. Additional resources are available in the back of the book including a visual chart for tools and quick keys.

Affiliate Marketing:
How to Become a Seven Figure Affiliate Marketer in Today’s Digital World

by K.M., Kasim

Blogging a 6 Figure Business Strategy in 2020: The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide on How to Make a Profit and Passive Income Online for a Living, Using Social Media, Seo, and Affiliate Marketing Secrets
by Brandon Blueprints

Content Machine:
Use Content Marketing to Build a 7-figure Business With Zero Advertising

by Dan Norris

How To Make Money Blogging:
How I Replaced My Day-Job and How You Can Start A Blog Today

by Bob Lotich

How to Start a Blog: Make Money Online in 2020.
A Step by Step Guide to Promote Your Business

by Sarah Miller and Vanessa Manson

How to Write Great Blog Posts that Engage Readers (Kindle Version)
by Steve Scott

The Profitable Content System:
The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Creating Wildly Profitable Content Without Burnout

by Meera Kothand

Dynamic Digital Marketing:
Master the World of Online and Social Media Marketing to Grow Your Business
Dawn McGruer


Movies
Tangled
Starring: Mandy Moore, Zachary Levi
Directors: Nathan Greno, Byron Howard 
Rating: PG
Format: DVD
This 2010 Disney, computer-animated, musical fantasy film is based on the story of Rapunzel, who has magical long-hair with powers to glow and heal. She lives in a castle secluded from the world with her stepmother. After befriending a runaway thief named Flynn in the castle, she convinces him to help her escape and see the world which leads her to her parents. A bright, light-hearted movie for any age!

Sing
Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, Seth MacFarlane 
Director: Garth Jennings
Rating: PG
Format: DVD
This 2016, light-hearted, computer-animated, movie produced by Illumination released by Universal Pictures, is filled with music and funny scenes that are sure to make you laugh. Singing animals, each with their own personality, showcase their talents in a singing competition which results in saving their favorite theater. If you love music and animated films—this is one you won’t want to miss.


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Amazon Prime
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Amazon Kindle Unlimited
Unlimited reading. Unlimited listening. Any device.


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Artificial Intelligence and Education

Here’s a bell ringer…Chalk it up to the next step in education, artificial intelligence is helping students learn more efficiently. Artificial intelligence (AI), which learns patterns through algorithms, simulates human decision-making using real-time data. AI streamlines processes making them more efficient and draws upon resources with its automation. For educators, AI contributes by more closely identifying with the needs of students evaluating their ability and adjusting lessons based on comprehension. According to MIT Technology, 99.4% educators say that artificial intelligence (AI) will be instrumental to their education, and 92% are already using it. Students are given unique learning paths for mastery of content with independent learning customized to their needs.

Just recently, with COVID-19, schools which were prepared for online learning, were able to transition to remote learning. This seamless transition allowed students to continue with their schooling. How many of these schools used AI as part of their remote programs is unknown, however,  the potential for future use of AI applications as part of remote education is very likely. AI-guided instruction with remote learning can help students advance at their own pace at home. Within the classroom, students using AI applications can remain focused on learning, without the classroom discipline issues and enthused by their unique learning path. Diverse populations are served with AI making cultural differences more comfortable. Based on demographics, AI can create an avatar for learning applications which reflects the student’s age, ethnicity, and style that the student can identify with. Expressions of the avatar change as the student interacts, making learning even more fun. Additionally, online programs using AI are catered to each student’s progress with instant feedback to the student and teacher. For those eager to learn, and those who learn best with computer-based instruction, use of AI offers endless possibilities for education.

Although technology has become integrated within daily life for most people, to many it is still inaccessible. WIFI and Internet, computers, and tablets may be not available at home for students to use nor at school. Given this, some students may not be able to take advantage of AI and remote learning which could put them at a disadvantage compared to peers. For these students, the resources the school can provide within the classroom such as quality instruction by the teacher, a welcoming learning environment, and other supplemental resources are even more important to stay competitive. With all the benefits AI brings to education, the traditional classroom offers situations that the computer cannot provide, exceling with in person face-to-face group discussions, hands on learning, and a place for developing essential interpersonal skills.

The benefits of AI within education impacts the quality of classroom instruction within the classroom environment. AI works well with the flipped classroom model where students learn material in advance before classroom instruction by the teacher. Preparing students in advance before the teacher instructs the class helps create a foundation of initial understanding and background for the lesson. The result from this yields better class discussions and it makes learning easier as the students have already been exposed to the topic. Additionally, students who are using AI-guided learning are able to study material at their own pace which adjusts as they progress, offering further assistance when needed or moving the student on to the next lesson. Feedback is instantaneous, providing teachers with valuable information for intervention. Teachers can then provide additional resources to supplement areas where the student needs tutoring assistance. Likewise, advanced learners are able to accelerate at a faster pace moving on to more challenging material. Furthermore, teachers receive feedback on areas where they can improve their lessons for greater clarity. As AI assesses students, it draws upon resources to make them immediately available to students in areas where they need more assistance and provides enriching information to advanced learners who thirst for more advanced material. Teachers continue instruction offline teaching students and providing hands-on learning with experiments and activities which are not able to be completed online. Students who might typically be in the same classroom have the potential of being at entirely different levels of education using AI technology.

AI technology is used in other areas outside of the classroom setting helping special needs students, language learners, and athletes. Devices utilizing AI technology is specialized to the needs of the student. Medical concerns of special needs students that require monitoring can be done using AI devices. Those with learning disabilities have personalized textbook learning which can assist with rephrasing sentences, assist with defining words, and provide other resources such as online videos and games to supplement learning. Language learners can interact with AI programs to learn a new language. AI understands English and other languages and can speak it, gauging the conversation level of the student, and assisting with learning with online games and reading text selections. Sports departments can use AI technology for training athletes, strategizing games, and even assisting with ticket sales for sports events.

From an administrative standpoint, AI technology helps streamline the education process for teachers with their schedule and workload. AI is used by education systems for non-discriminatory enrollment to filter students based on where they live and other criteria to assign them to schools and teachers. It can assist with the grading process with programmed rubrics for grading assignments and exams. Built in features can detect plagiarism, readability, and ensure student privacy. AI can also be used to help the administration and teachers to schedule meetings and conferences. The environment within schools can also be controlled with AI which senses when to turn lights on and off and adjust the temperature throughout classrooms. Automated processes contribute to efficiency saving time and money for schools.

Artificial intelligence within education will redefine the teacher-student relationship to one of an advisor as students are taught using AI. Personalized learning unique to each student ensures student success with instant feedback to teachers. It also sets students on the path for their career providing a customized textbook which draws upon material that is specific to their career path. Remote online education is even more a possibility for students, with the benefits of keeping students on track who have medical issues, family emergencies, traveling and for other reasons. Student education is enhanced with AI becoming more readily available for use by those within education. Rewarding to students, teachers, and school administrative professionals, AI technology is bringing education to the next level.


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Artificial Intelligence In Education:
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Robot-Proof: Higher Education in the Age of Artificial Intelligence (The MIT Press)
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Artificial Intelligence, Mixed Reality, and the Redefinition of the Classroom
(The Futures Series on Community Colleges)

by Scott M. Martin (Author) and Christopher Jennings (Contributor)

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Personality of Coronavirus

I am surprised at how compliant everyone has been with wearing a mask. It is mandatory within stores and public buildings, but it is just as common to see people wearing masks outside exercising. In Texas, even with the heat in the 100’s, people are continuing to wear masks outdoors, sweating from fear of the Coronavirus.

I think it would be interesting to do a psychological study of people based on how much they are masking themselves. As concern for the Coronavirus has continued, I’ve noticed people covering up their faces more and more. In retail environments where there have been the most people, I have seen people so covered up you cannot even see their face! How can the police even identify a thief anymore? Women are seen wearing large sunglasses and masks so that only their foreheads are left uncovered. Men wear bandanas that cover up the entire bottom half of their face below their eyes. Whereas in most cases it is difficult to implement any kind of policy, somehow wearing a mask is not even questioned. There are very few people who argue with it. How many of these are wearing a mask for prevention reasons and how many are wearing it because of psychological needs for safety, security, love, and belonging?

I have seen people who have their entire face covered. Is this a sign of care and security that the person is trying to create for themselves? Does the amount of coverage of the face signify fulfilling a need of self-love and way of conquering pain in their life, like trying to swaddle themselves in a baby blanket? Or maybe it is coverage from the fear of contracting the virus built up from all the hype and coverage of media, rather than the virus itself.

Perhaps for some, it is a way to physically look better or a means to lose weight. Sweating under a mask burns off calories on an entirely different area of the body than is typical. Similarly, with weight loss, how is it that a person can breathe who is exercising with their mouth and nose covered? I had a gym membership and it was manageable to walk on a treadmill at a slow speed with a mask on. However, any faster cardio activity was nearly impossible as the mask restrained breathing and caused my face to become really hot. Do people who workout intensely masked think it will strengthen their lungs by restraining their air? For those who are self-conscious about the bottom half of their face, it provides a chance to keep it hidden, but for most of us, we need a full supply of air. Likewise, it is a mystery to me how cyclists are able to ride their bikes completely masked. Yet many of them are cycling miles around the lake at the same speed as normal. How many of the walkers and runners with dogs on a leash do not care that the Coronavirus can be contracted to their pet? Where are the pet masks? Wouldn’t it make more sense if both pet and owner wore a mask or didn’t?

Living in a self-expressive era, people are eager to express themselves and show their personality and style. For those who care to express themselves by mask, wearing a unique mask is a way to do this. The number of styles I have seen have ranged from glitter and bling, to exaggerated mouths on the mask, patriotic versions, cartoons, and plenty of different colors and patterns. Those who love to sew, were quick to see the Coronavirus as an opportunity to show their skills. Handmade masks were made and distributed to friends and family members. Many still wear the basic disposable, blue and white mask. Bandanas also have been a quick makeshift for a mask, easily made by folding a bandana into thirds and popping hair bands on each end.

Very few people are actually practicing social distancing with 6 feet of space, but wearing a mask is followed by nearly the entire population and has become a trend. Has self-expression and the trend for fashion tied in with keywords like “social distancing” created a fad to drive compliancy?

Health and self-expression are always going to be top-sellers when it comes to the general public. Having an ailment or a special condition, makes you a commodity. We see this with parents and their children. “My child has ADHD”, or whatever other symptom, suddenly makes the child “special” and the parents have a topic to talk about. Topics revolve around the problem with their child, rather than emphasizing what the child excels in. This is a way parents can converse with one another encountering less feeling of inadequacy. Empathy can be found with a health issue, whereas bragging on talent might create adversity with another parent. The same type of approach applies to adult-to-adult conversation. Adults would rather discuss their woes rather than talk about what is uplifting. How many older people talk about their pains, medications and doctors visits when it would be more pleasant to hear about their life experiences. It creates a concern for self, which results in compassion from the other person. With the Coronavirus everyone gets a special band-aid pasted on their face.

It is understandable that vulnerable populations such as the elderly might have a greater fear of catching the Coronavirus. One would think that children would be of a higher concern as well. In retail store environments, I have heard mothers question why their children must wear a mask or if an exception can be made. Events and kids meals might make exceptions for kids, but with smaller lungs and little bodies, it would seem obvious they would fall into the high concern bracket. Psychologically is it that the parent feels neglected of care and must nurture themselves by wearing a mask while giving the child the benefit of freedom? The parent positions him or herself as the one who needs care above the child, when it should be both.

With the rich and famous, masking opens up more opportunities to be in public and not be identified. For those aspiring to be rich and famous, they too can dress differently and go around town in mask for a different experience. It is a chance for the affluent to be fashionable and show their sense of fashion by affording specialized masks to coordinate with their outfits. An article was posted about the Queen of England who wears a mask that matches her daily wardrobe of brightly colored suits. I also saw a young woman in downtown Dallas who had a mask made of the exact material of her outfit.  

While some cultures such as Islam require head coverings, covering the face is new for most Western cultures. Will this develop a greater appreciation for our mouths? An uncovered mouth is needed for sound and volume. Many hard of hearing must be affected by not being able to hear people who have mouth coverings on. It may create a new vision for how we see people, noticing the person rather than the external qualities. The mouth is also used for reading facial expressions. A person can take a vacation from smiling and no one will even know. I’ve even seen people stick their tongue out at me from behind their mask. And as for revenue from foundation makeup and lipstick, I would imagine sales are down. Personally, I prefer to be mask-free as much as possible, but follow policies where wearing a mask is required.

Wearing a mask is the perfect prelude to a reformation of etiquette in our culture. After being in timeout with the Coronavirus, with shelter in place, we were able to have a greater appreciation for our freedom and ability to interact with one another. Covering the mouth and nose, can visually signify halting gossip and nosiness, which is also indicative of rudeness. When restrictions were lifted for public shopping, it was a renewed experience of respectfulness of distance and the exclusiveness of having space while shopping. People were obedient to this and cautious of infecting others by following social distancing procedures. Now that most places have opened up, there seems to be not much difference as everyday life returns to normal. When we take our masks off, we will see other people’s faces again. What it would be like to remove the band-aids over our mouths and noses yielding a healed and healthy society of people. Furthermore, what if being mask-free meant a world culture safe from the Coronavirus, and one with a greater respectfulness for each other in our interactions and speech.  

Note: It is noted that the Coronavirus is real and has caused many deaths worldwide. This article is written from another perspective hoping to present other points such as how well marketed the Coronavirus has been with precautions followed seamlessly by the majority of the population because of the scare. A lack of respectfulness in today’s culture is equally contagious and deadly, which is a natural segue to this current worldwide concern.


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iJoy Premium Wireless Headphones

Love to watch movies or listen to music or audiobooks? Listen to this!

Take joy in listening to all your favorite music, video, and audio selections with the iJoy Matte Finish Premium Rechargeable Wireless Headphones. Headphones are equipped with bluetooth for wireless listening. Enjoy the freedom of walking around without the constraints of being tethered to a device with an extended frequency range. Quality sound with the ability to equalize control, adjust volume, answer phone calls, switch between bluetooth and radio, and toggle between tracks all are at the touch of your fingertips with 5 button controls located on the outside of the headphones. These headphones are foldable making them convenient for travel, and they even come in a variety of fun colors!

I purchased these headphones a year ago and have really enjoyed them! They have a deep bass, stereo sound that brings sound to life just as much as if you were at a concert or using a stereo system in your house. Perfect for working out at the gym, listening to music, or doing training online, these headphones are compact and easy to take anywhere. I enjoy using my headphones along with my Amazon Music subscription to listen the songs on my playlists and to watch movies. You can also use them to listen to TV, Video, and Audiobooks if you have an Amazon Prime subscription. They increase my motivation for working out more intensely at the gym, and also have spiritually motivated me with the richness of sound quality listening to online church services and to my Christian music selections. I can easily switch between songs on my playlist simply by clicking on the side of the headphone while working out. They fit around the ears and cancel out other surrounding noise. I also have been impressed with the extended frequency range. I used them several times in a large convention center area and the range extended over 1/3 of the room’s floorspace. These headphones are a good purchase. If you are looking for headphones, I would recommend the iJoy Matte Finish Premium Rechargeable Wireless Headphones.


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Order To Go

It was thick with beads of sweat hanging off of it, but not too many. The thickness was of ravishing buffalo or cattle that could not escape. The red, wagon wheel and limp, transparent accessories were smashed together with oozing yellow, red, white, and orange all over—a mess of tangy, tongue, tantalizing sauciness—or with the perception of a visual artist, a delightful smattering of mixed colors like paint. A side of salty, soft sticks, still not touched were splattered with red, indicating their fate. 1500 or 2500 is about what it registers, and at the register shift the decimal—food for the palette for the mere price of $2.50.

What a great expense it is, to a person with more beads, not being able to escape the messy tongues and sauciness of the workers who splatter red upon one’s reputation, with thousands influenced, and at such a cheap price.


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The Signs of Communication

With communication today, two extremities of communication exist: self-expression and speaking with discretion. Self-expression, or speaking openly on any topic without much censorship or use of etiquette, is common by most of the population. The second, opposite extreme, is speaking with discretion and saying very little in order to preserve one’s reputation. This is more typical of professionals and anyone of class, although it may not necessarily always the case. How are either of these improving the way we communicate? How are both of these skewing the line of civilized communication?

Self-Expression
The first extreme of communication is self-expression which has become an acceptable way to communicate today for most Americans. Unlike other countries, the United States does not have laws against hate speech. What a person says has no societal limitations in most settings. With this increase in self-expression, and decrease in societal parameters for civilized speech, the majority of the population feels they can say whatever they want—and for the most part they do. There is little thought put into what is said. Rather than considering how what is communicated might hurt or offend another, the priority is placed on voicing opinions without discretion, using uncivilized expressions, and being heard.

In the past, social standards influenced improper communication. In Roman and Greek cultures, speaking was seen as an art which had to be mastered before a person was given the right to speak on a topic. It could take years to master becoming an orator. The aspiring speaker had to first learn the art by studying the writings of philosophers, mastering grammar, and learning how to speak. In more modern times, within the United States, social standards set the acceptability of civilized speech and good etiquette. Even a minor comment could eliminate a person from social circles. Differences of opinion could certainly make for a worthy topic of discussion. However, being cordial was expected at a minimum for more vivacious discussions which could lead to arguments. It was possible for people to be accepted, although they might have differing opinions, and still be valued and respected with human dignity.

Within the last 50 years, there has been a shift to self-expression. The ability to say whatever is on a person’s mind is acceptable whether in person or online. There are hardly any limits to what a person may speak about. Open communication is seen as a way to provide transparency and the “honest story” of any person or situation. While this has many benefits, it crosses a line when dignity is stepped upon and boundaries are crossed. Consideration is necessary before speaking with regards to whom a person is talking to, if the topic is appropriate, and the choice of respectful words which are said for a pleasant conversation. Talking about anything can be very damaging. In fact, much of what people talk about has veered away from “ideas” and “intellectual topics”. Instead, what is more common is digressive speech such as gossip or speaking of topics which are inappropriate, very personal or sensitive in nature, or comments which might advertise the negative rather than focus on the positive. There is no preservation of the human dignity of a person. What needs to be said, is what is said, regardless of how it may hurt or offend the other person.

On social networks, a simple post can flare up into a war of replies within seconds. This trolling is often classified inaccurately as a “discussion” and “freedom of speech”. It would be better described as intolerance for a different view which triggers others chiming in to counter the post with an escalating degree of negativity and close-mindedness. These can occur even on simple posts that may not have any intent to attract opinions, but which result in a soapbox of negative, heated, responses. While self-expression allows for openness and problem solving, it can also open the door for adversity. Communication on digressive topics, and intentionally creating unnecessary conflict are examples of unhealthy communication. Speaking about anything without consideration of another person is rude and uncivilized.

The Power of Silence
The other extreme for communication is to choose to say very little or to remain silent. By speaking cautiously a person is more likely to preserve their good reputation. It also provides safety, by finding no partiality to any party or issue. The person remains politically correct by withholding an opinion. In many spiritual teachings, silence is perceived as golden. By remaining silent, a person can reflect wisdom. Remaining silent, a person does not reveal what they know or do not know. Likewise, by not speaking, there is less of a chance of speaking in an unintelligent manner, speaking offensively, or divulging information which should not be revealed. Remaining silent is also a way to absorb heated conflict, inappropriate speech, and to buy in time to respond with a more thoughtful response.

There is a time and a place to speak. George Washington said, “If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter”.  While we should speak out rather than remain silent on situations of injustice, on political views or ways that may affect our life, saying less, rather than more can be a way which contributes to civility. Voicing an opinion without consideration, can breed hate more than solve problems. This is where uncivilized speech occurs. In today’s culture, it is more likely that the freedom of speech is taken too far through the self-expression of uncivilized conversation. Self-expression can be the ignition of unnecessary conflict just to express an opinion. When freedom of speech is taken to this extreme, responding with silence can help swing the equilibrium of communication, bringing it back to more peaceful speech and civilized communication. Knowing when to speak and when not to speak is important.

Finding the Balance with Human Dignity and Respect
Some social and professional settings still have standards for communication, although uncivilized speech is more popular. Realizing that there is a place for self-expression while maintaining a standard for civilized communication is the challenge which we face today. Many do not recognize digressive communication. Being desensitized by the current standard, hardly anyone today questions inappropriate speech which is on the tongues of most and found in media and by leaders. If culture continues to accept digressive speech, it is a reflection on our country, acceptability for digression and lack of etiquette, and is an insult to the right to the Freedom of Speech which we have. The First Amendment was created for Americans to speak up for freedom and liberties for all. With an acceptability of hate speech and speaking on digressive topics, society is infected with negativity, hate, unacceptability, intolerance for differences, immaturity, a lack of professionalism, and lack of human dignity. It shows an inability to communicate and interact with others. For a country which prides itself on being a melting pot, this is not congruent. Although not everyone will get along, there needs to be a greater degree of respect for differences whether it is race, belief, lifestyle, ability, economic or any other characteristic. Valuing differences and human life needs a higher tolerance and acceptance. Inequality will always exist, but human dignity needs to be upheld. Since the primary problem of unacceptability stems from inappropriate speech, correcting communication that is off-balance can help set society upright to a culture with a civilized standard.


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by P.M. Forni

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Words & Phrases: How To Phrase It

How you speak matters, and so does knowing ‘when to chew it’. The Freedom of Speech does not mean it is acceptable to say just anything. Slander, defamation, and verbal abuse are abuse of the freedom of speech and are even a liability for a civil lawsuit. Knowing how to speak properly makes a difference in employment showing good communication skills. Thinking before you speak gives you a chance to form what you have to say in the most positive and polite manner. This infographic and podcast shares information on how to express what you have to say in a civilized way.

Download the Infographic: How-To Think Before You Speak: Words and Phrases

Are you left tongue tied because of rude speech? Are you wondering how to lick the rudeness? Join Clean Up Dallas with Culture and Kindness as host Cheryl Vaca presents the podcast: Tongue Tied: How To Lick the Rudeness by Using Better Etiquette. Identifying offensive ways of speaking in everyday conversations is a way to improve communication with others. Raise the standard for civilized communication by striving to speak respectfully and with good tact. Be Cultured. Be Kind.

Listen to the Podcast:
How-To Phrase It: And You Can Quote Me

Read the Script for the Podcast:
How-To Phrase It: And You Can Quote Me PODCAST


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How to Say It, Third Edition:
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