Choo It… Express Kind!

One classroom management technique used by teachers in lower grade levels is to instruct students to “make a bubble mouth”. Children find this fun to hold air in their mouth bubbling their cheeks, which leads to instant silence. Children cannot talk as their mouths are closed and it is a way for the teacher to get their attention so they can listen.

How many times a day do you run into people who cut you down or say something which you don’t agree with? It is easy to make a comment back. A better practice to get into would be to “chew it” and remain silent—especially when there is steam which can be agitated to a greater argument with an unkind response back. Practice Choo-It Love Express. Choo away cut-downs and the impulse to respond. Express kind by choosing to choo it.

—Clean Up Dallas with Culture and Kindness


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The Power of Silence: Silent Communication in Daily Life
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Manners That Matter Most:
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365 Manners Kids Should Know:
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Being Nice to Others: A Book about Rudeness (Growing God’s Kids)
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Bo Mom Knows

Word up…

Mom knows first before her child heads to the birthday party that the parents were planning to bag up half of the attendees and kill off 1/3 of the 1st grade class.

Sound shocking? Well it happens.

Mom’s got the Word…

Mom knows first, even before the child even got into the car to go to the party. And she even knows who was going to be there and there was a good chance you might end up driving home with an intoxicated friend.

Bo, glad Mom knows and cared…

Being involved in your child’s life is more than just chauffeuring them to the next event and checking their grades. Good parents know where their kids are and who they are hanging out with. In fact, it probably is even a good idea to become friends with some of your kid’s friend’s parents. The time that your child spends with other children and their families has an impact on their views, peer pressure, their grades, their attitudes, and their life. Are you one of those parents who nothing slips by? Then good job, your child is safer than most. If you don’t, spend some time learning more about your child and how they spend their time when you aren’t around. This doesn’t mean limiting their freedom, but as their parent you are responsible for their life and should be aware of how they are being influenced. Ultimately you may incur extra problems if you don’t. And quite frankly, when you are that nosy with your child who is a minor, you are the kind of parent who cares.

—Clean Up Dallas with Culture and Kindness


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How-To Say I Love You PODCAST

PODCAST SCRIPT

This is Clean Up Dallas with Culture and Kindness, today is April 17, 2020 and today’s podcast is a How-To Podcast on How-To Say I Love You. Today happens to be the wedding anniversary of my parents so I want to say a quick “I love you” to them and wish them a happy 44th wedding anniversary. This month’s theme is Kindness and Kids, & Kind and today we’re going to be sharing some reminders of the importance of saying “I Love You” and saying this frequently within your family and to your children.

First of all here are some statistics…

Did you know that of full-time working parents, 39 percent of mothers and 50 percent of fathers say they feel as if they spend too little time with their children? 59 percent of full-time working mothers say they don’t have enough leisure time, and more than half of working fathers say the same. Of parents with college degrees, 65 percent said they found it difficult to balance a job and family; 49 percent of non-graduates said the same. 

Based on these statistics, families are finding it more difficult to spend time together. However, with the quarantine mandated by the Coronavirus families must stay home and therefore have more time to spend with each other. Parents also have more time to relax and have some extra time to enjoy leisure activities at home as well as with their families making it easier than ever, with no excuses, to spend time with them and say “I love you”.

Saying “I love you” can be as simple as saying “hello” to a stranger, giving a hug to someone, saying it with meaning to someone you love, giving someone a compliment, doing something for someone, or one of the best ways is to spend time. Spending quality time in person with someone is needed to grow a relationship and to say “I love you”.  It cannot be replaced by virtual contact which has become part of many relationships.

Kids can tell your parents you love them. If they are small they can draw a picture, help around the house, give hugs and kisses, and express appreciation. Tell your parents you love them!

If you are a parent or a single person, to love someone else, you need to make time in your day to love yourself. Self-love doesn’t have to be selfish. We all need time to care for ourselves and in the end it gives you more energy and the ability to love others even better. Here are some ideas. You can take a walk, write, do something you enjoy, take a bubble bath or other self-care like a massage or pedicure, spend time with other people who bring you joy to be around, vary up your day and routine by adding variety in what you do, eat, and wear, dress up, buy yourself something, pray, think good thoughts, exercise, and find time for those hobbies and activities you enjoy.

In families spending time together in person is essential to the family bond between parents and children, as it is with marriages between spouses. As I was recently going through some books I had collected and hadn’t read yet and found this book which goes along with the theme of kindness and kids and kind. The book is called Ways To Say I Love You: To Those You Love the Most. It’s written by Stephen Arterburn, Carl Dreizler & Jan Dargatz. It is important to tell people in your life how much you love them, and this book provides simple ideas and suggestions to express your love to someone by spending time together.

Each chapter of the book shares a creative idea of how to express “I love you”. The first part of the book addresses spouses and the second part of the book is how parents can express “I love you” to their children in unique ways.

I want to share a few of these ideas out of this book. Some of them may not strike you but maybe it will inspire you to do something for another person and spend time with them in a fun, creative, and meaningful way.

 

[A few random selections read from the book: Ways To Say I Love You: To Those You Love the Most by Stephen Arterburn, Carl Dreizler & Jan Dargatz. Listen to the Full Podcast including Excerpts from the Book]

 

These creative ideas are special ways to bring love to a sometimes loveless world. They are for any two people who love one another—husbands and wives, mothers and daughters; fathers and sons; lifelong friends, parents, grandparents, family; the ideas are designed to create closeness in all kinds of loving relationships. I’m sure you can come up with many ideas on your own! Spend this time of quarantine to spend more time with your kids, your spouse, and yourself. Say “I love you” by saying it frequently and showing it by spending time together as a family and with your kids. Build a special bond, by letting them know you love them!

Follow Clean Up Dallas with Culture and Kindness on Facebook and WordPress and on Twitter and Pinterest @cultureofkind

Listen to the Podcast


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Featured Book
Ways to Say I Love You: To Those You Love the Most
 
by Stephen Arterburn, Carl Dreizler, and Jan Dargatz

Culture of Rude: TV Talkback

Change the station. How hard it has become to find shows which do not have slapstick negativity or slapping others with taboo topics. Whether it is the most popular sitcom or reality show, anyone who has been around at least the last 20 years can notice a change in the delivery of the material. While humor doesn’t need to be exactly like Sesame Street, the good ol’ fashion family values of Brady Bunch which may not be as relevant to single family homes of today, or the good humor of Bill Cosby which seems to be forgotten—there is something which needs to be noticed about what we find interesting and what we find funny today.

Shows which center around insulting and mocking, speaking with tongue-in-cheek that is no longer that but rather talk back and rudeness, and incivility in it’s many forms has an indirect impact on viewers and the standard of the culture today. Even most reality talk shows, specialize on delivering the shock factor of what used to be unthinkable to even talk about. Very personal information is revealed on topics of sex, personal relationships, and the overall tone is one of negativity. While not every show is like this, it takes some filtering through before you can find a show that has better delivered material and those are in the minority.

With material like this common to the media we watch, we soon become desensitized to what is respectful and appropriate. In fact, so much so, that many who turn on the TV would not even label what they are watching as a form of lack of culture. This influences our culture and in how we interact with each other. Talking back becomes the standard, negativity, spreading gossip on taboo topics, little respect for boundaries, and a lack of accentuating the good in others and throughout society.

We choose what we watch and listen to. Whether it is TV, movies, the radio, or podcasts, step back and evaluate the content and delivery and see how it may be influencing your individual delivery in the way you interact with others. You might find that it is time to change the station, or at least submit some respectful talk-back yourself to provide them with some feedback.


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Books
How to Read a Film: Movies, Media, and Beyond – 4th Edition

by James Monaco

How To Write Awesome Dialogue! For Fiction, Film and Theatre:
Techniques from a published author and theatre guy

by Tom Leveen (Author)

Film Analysis: A Norton Reader (Second Edition) Second Edition
by Jeffrey Geiger, R. L. Rutsky

Choosing Civility

by P.M. Forni

The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude
by P.M. Forni

The Case for Civility: And Why Our Future Depends on It
by Os Guinness 

Mere Civility: Disagreement and the Limits of Toleration
by Teresa M. Bejan

Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior In Company and Conversation
by George Washington and Tony Darnell

Movies
Christian movies

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Positively Disciplined to Be a Kind Kid

Families set the foundation for how children first learn to be loving and interact with others. The values children are raised with become a core part of how they view the world and live their life. Although influenced later in life as teens, in college, and as adults, the core system of beliefs are essential to win against any trial when tested.

To instruct children is not enough. Forming them means a constant push and pull of keeping them aligned until values and discipline becomes part of their lifestyle. When parents teach, they lead by explanation, by modeling, and by providing gentle but firm correction. It is important that parents communicate expectations and what consequences will occur if expectations are not followed.

There is a difference between correction which focuses on the error, and correction which is positive and builds up. Telling a child, “You lied and are going to be nothing but a liar when you grow up”, is not as helpful or encouraging as, “I know you realize how important honesty is.” Affirming, correcting, being positive, and stating facts with minimal blame is the best approach to discipline. A child needs to know they are loved, and there is room for mistakes, but that there are expectations.

Parents must be consistent in what they teach, in what they say, and how they live. They also must be respectful and maintain self-control. Being respectful, parents teach their children how to maturely have a conversation and also how to deal with others during conflict. They do not tolerate name calling, tantrums, or using insults to tear down. Parents also must not lose control, agitated by children or the circumstance. A calm demeanor helps de-escalate confrontations. Always strive to maintain peace, setting time-limits to arguments and consequences, and restoring children to good standing with a clean slate.

Teaching children how to be kind begins at an early age. Parents teach there are boundaries, the importance of sharing, not to cheat or steal, consideration of others, honesty, being polite, practicing generosity, being truthful, standing up for what is right, being respectful, responsible, and obedient to rules or face consequences. These are essential foundations of love and ethics which breed a “Kind Kid” and not just a “Kind Kid” but one who will be successful in having good interactions and spread kindness to others their entire life.

Your Kind, Matters.


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Books on Discipline

Toddler Discipline for Every Age and Stage: Effective Strategies to Tame Tantrums, Overcome Challenges, and Help Your Child Grow
by Aubrey Hargis and Breana Sylvester PhD
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7
by Joanna Faber and Julie King


Family Facetime

One benefit as a result of the Coronavirus quarantine, is spending more time at home. For families who are always on the go, this is an opportunity to spend quality time with the family.

With many families, the time spent together as a family is considerably less than it historically has ever been. Spending time as a family helps bring together the family as a unit while providing the opportunity to teach values to children. Parents and children probably spend more time engrossed in their electronics than with each other. True face time, however, is invaluable. Children need to be loved and learn to love, which can only truly be fostered by spending time in person. The time you invest now with your children teaches them how to be loving people. They learn how to survive in a world of hate and how to love others.

Plan some family time if you haven’t had the chance. Try to get on a regular schedule to plan for family events. If you don’t already eat together because of other commitments, try to make it a point to eat dinner every night, or at least most of the week rather than grabbing something on the go. Plan for family game nights. Plan for family outings or a big vacation and have the family members help contribute by giving each family member a specific part in planning for the trip.

You’ll find that family disagreements are easier resolved when you spend more time in front of each other. Families grow together and love each other when time is spent as a family in person. Face it–families need face time to nurture family.

Build Your Kind. With Face Time.

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Books