Dating: A Question of Dignity and Respect

Dating seems to be falling away as today’s culture favors quick interactions over traditional courting. With this, dignity and respect take less of an importance. Just like the convenience store, if it is that easy to get to the goal to score, or if that goal is the priority over the person, then why even go through the stages of winning the woman over?

Winning a woman is something of a lost art. What used to be standard in culture of pursuing a woman has all but gone away, and with that all of the romance and respect that goes with a man winning the love of a woman. In today’s culture, the quick route is preferred with the goal and desire to get in and ‘bang her’ as Will Smith so rightfully corrects in the movie Hitch. It is not even questioned. Men who ‘actually love women’ and the pursuit of building a lasting relationship is an archaic idea. The purpose of dating is to learn about each other by spending time together in person to learn what qualities and attributes the person has as compatible to your own and to have time to grow closer together. With time, it is easier to find out how a person treats you and others, what they feel about honesty, God, and how they approach situations. It takes a lifetime to learn about a person and even that wouldn’t be enough time to define a person as people change and grow throughout their life. The purpose of learning about someone in a dating relationship is to spend time to see if the person is compatible as a partner and if the relationship has enough compatibility to move in the direction of marriage. When this time is not spent, there is very little evaluation time beyond the physical attraction. It is no longer about the person but them as an object of use and in what they can provide.

Each person has their interpretation of what dignity and respect is, and what they find acceptable. For most people there is a basic standard of dignity and respect that we would all agree upon. At a minimum this should be the expectation, and if there is a difference in these standards, they should be discussed as to whether they are compatible or not. If dignity and respect is not an essential part of the relationship, it is time to leave without any regrets. These are the foundation of a quality relationship.

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