You Know I’m Bad—for Some Moore…

Ohh…are you being good? Behaviors can be learned by observation, example, order, or correction. What is the difference between how behaviors are learned and corrected in humans and animals? 

TRAINING BEHAVIOR IN HUMANS
The first way humans learn behavior is through observational learning of a behavior, attitude, or emotional expression. A baby, even before understanding words, observes how to act from watching actions and gestures from others, as was discovered by Albert Bandura, an American-Canadian psychologist in 1961. When a baby is just over a year old, the baby starts to learn the association of gestures with words. Parents introduce words which accompany gestures to indicate simple orders such as “yes”, “no”,  “stop”, “don’t”, and “come here”. The baby begins to develop vocabulary and respond with gestures to communicate. Once a child reaches adolescence, and are able to distinguish between right and wrong, they may question why they are asked to do something. They are either obedient to rules or use abstract reasoning to determine how they will react. A person might be conditioned to follow a rule, and do so in obedience, simply because they know it is right or wrong. This is typical of younger children. However, as a child grows into adulthood, they use reasoning to consider the options they have and what consequences might be associated with these decisions.

Positive Conditioning
Conditioning Behavior
Behaviors can be conditioned with rules, procedures, and expectations in place. Rules have set consequences which are most effective if they are served as soon as a rule is broken. Rules are stated and understood at the beginning of any endeavor, and if a rule is broken, there is a punishment which should be expected. Procedures on the other hand, outline the how-to process for an expected behavior of which there are no consequences. It is important for teachers to have these in place at the beginning of the school year. It establishes structure and guidelines that help prevent unruliness in the classroom. Without these stated and enforced, classes can be difficult to manage because with each individual comes to the classroom with their own idea of what is expected.

Modeling is another way to teach expected behavior in a positive manner. Both children and adults learn visually through observation and being shown how to do something. In a social setting, a person might observe other people and adjust how they act to match them appropriate to the setting. A teacher might use modeling in the classroom to point out how a student is demonstrating good behavior for the class to follow. An airline attendant may show travelers on an airline how to use oxygen masks in case of emergency.

Ordering is another way people learn to behave. Firmly, yet respectfully giving an order can be effective. Yelling orders, demanding behavior, without any respect, can have very little effect other than trying to intimidate the person to conform. Within the workplace, a manager might give orders to their staff that they need to stay on task to meet a deadline.

Having consequences in place helps behavior stay on track but gives a person the freedom of being able to know what happens if they don’t follow them. Part of the responsibility of being an adult is being able to have the freedom to make decisions by oneself taking into consideration consequences. Considering the consequences before doing something that may break the rules, helps a person evaluate whether a bad behavior is worth the punishment. Before a person breaks the law, they should consider that they might get caught, be fined, or go to jail. The behavior or result of the behavior, might be more important for an individual than the consequence. For others, the consequences restrain the person from pursuing a behavior which could compromise their safety or that of another person’s.

There are people who also have erratic behaviors which can be the result of medical issues or affected by drugs or alcohol. Behavior also affected by spontaneity, and irresponsibility—at the spur of the moment what seems like a good idea overcomes any rational thought process. Unwritten rules of our society might also affect behavior which is erratic, and these who act out of what is acceptable within society can be subjected to social consequences.

Positive Reinforcement
Positivity is always a good rule of thumb when it comes to behavior and reformation. A responsible person with a well-formed conscience is able to correct themselves. Although not immune to human error, they realize when their behavior is out of line, and seek to change their behavior to do what is right. Even if it is bad behavior that is repeated, they have a positive attitude knowing it is something which they can work on.

A positive attitude can be used to correct bad behavior in another person or in oneself. Even the most self-motivated person who wants to reform their behavior, is capable of slipping back into bad behavior. If a person has a positive attitude and can forgive themselves of their imperfection, they can continue to persevere at good behavior until they perfect it, and probably be very successful in their efforts. For those who need another person to hold them accountable, a positive spirit from an accountability partner can keep a person on track especially in the cases when temptation tries to win out over resolution. Just like a bridge from old behavior to new behavior, using positive reinforcement can help pave the way over falling into despair caused by not holding to new resolutions. People like to understand that they are good and are doing a good job. By complimenting a person on their achievements and letting them know they are doing well can add wonders to their morale and self-confidence. Finding qualities that can be praised as part of reformation helps encourage correction.

Using incentives is another way to reward success. Especially for more challenging transformations of behavior, it is a good idea to have a plan in place. Strategizing how to change a behavior might include making a list of objectives of desired results, a list of reasons to serve as reminders of why it the transformation is necessary, and ideas for rewards for achievements along the way. Some behaviors take longer to change than others. Earning incentives for good behavior can make working for new resolutions more fun!

Life Experiences
Life experiences can motivate a person to change behavior. The life experience might be learned from one’s self or from witnessing the life experiences of others. A person might go through a life-changing experience which changes their perspective enough to make them committed to change their behavior. A person who becomes addicted to a substance might suffer in such a way that their situation ‘wakes them up’ to not continuing. The person can even find support with groups of others who can help them keep on the path of recovery and be committed to making better choices. Likewise, a person can learn from another’s experience. A friend’s story can leave such an impact which causes them to rethink their own behaviors and become committed to changing their own life.

Repetition
Repetition also contributes to correcting bad behavior. Repeating a mantra that a certain action should not be done, reinforces that it shouldn’t. Having constant reminders to stay on the path of good behavior helps keep resolutions at the forefront of the mind. Relearning helps build new habits to foster steady good behavior.   

Negative Conditioning
Correcting behavior the wrong way can be classified as forms of abuse. Physical contact, verbal correction, and manipulation are sometimes used as ways to correct, but they are also more likely to be classified as abuse. Whether physical contact is abusive or not is determined by the evidence, what the intent is, if a minor or adult is involved, how hard the force, and an evaluation of the severity from the damage. Examples of physical correction are grabbing an arm to hold it back, spanking a child, slapping a face, beating someone, burning someone, or hitting or harming a person using a weapon, rape and other ways. Verbal comments can also be abusive. Harsh words, yelling at a person, name calling, harassment are all ways which can cause emotional damage. Even if a person is angry, correcting a person should be done firmly, but using gentle words. It is usually unproductive to yell although it may help vent feelings. Manipulation is also commonly used as a last resort when no other means of correction seem to work. While this may be effective as a way to bring about the desired behavior in a person, there is deception involved which leads to mistrust and resentment. The short-term good of achieving correction, is brought about by the evil from manipulation. Correcting behavior in another person is more likely if it is the person’s willful choice to change, rather than by tricking them using deceptive means.

The Effects of Positive Reinforcement on Humans for Correcting Behavior
How effective is it to use positive reinforcement as a means for correction rather than negative reinforcement? For one it is more likely to have a successful outcome. People generally respond to positiveness better rather than being forced into correction. It also is less risky. Using negative means for correcting behavior show that the person correcting an individual has less control over the situation. They are resorting to force to yield an outcome. In many ways, it is the way an adult might correct a child who they have lost control over. They resort to yelling, spanking, or manipulation. Adults who have not mastered positive reinforcement can also use these methods as a way to correct other adults. It generally does not work, because by adulthood there is a knowledge of one’s own independency and an expectation of individual respectfulness. Positive reinforcement and patience is more likely to work for both children and adults. It builds up the individual and guides them to making better choices on their own. The result is that the adult is proud that they have achieved a desired behavior, because it was their decision to change. Using negative methods, forces behavior that is likely to only change out of fear of further abuse.

Effects of Therapy for Abuse and Disorders
Counseling is an effective means for those who seek to change their behavior, those who have been physically or emotionally abused, and for those with disorders. Counseling can provide positive reinforcement while the individual works through their individual situations. Sharing information in a counseling environment provides professional guidance in a safe environment, with a qualified professional.

The Success Rate of Prison as a Means of Effectively Correcting Humans
Persistence in changing one’s own behavior pays off as some behaviors can land a person in prison. Most prisons offer in-prison rehabilitation programs which help identify criminal tendencies and solve recidivism, a person’s relapse into criminal behavior. These in-prison rehabilitation programs have been successful in reducing recidivism by up to 35% to prevent future crimes. According to the California legislature, there are 8 significant criminal risk factors: antisocial behavior, antisocial personality, criminal thinking, antisocial relationships, poor relationships with family and/or spouse, low performance at school and at work, low social engagement for leisure or recreational activities, and substance abuse. Rehabilitation programs can help lower the criminal risk of people who display these characteristics. Prison education, employment, and health treatment programs offer a number of directions to prisoners can provide hope to prisoners setting them on a new road for their future.

TRAINING BEHAVIOR IN ANIMALS
Both humans and animals have the ability to be trained to change their behavior. In 1902, Ivan Pavlov, a Russian psychologist, studied behaviors in dogs and learned they could be trained to recognize an object to trigger a response. He noticed that a dog’s salivation changed when food was placed in front of the dog. Pavlov was able to condition a dog to have the same behavior using an unconditioned stimulus which was then associated with the response. For example, a dog started to saliva when there was food. A bell was introduced. The dog was trained that when a bell was present, food would be present. Therefore, the dog was conditioned to learn that the bell meant food and so he would start to saliva. When the bell was shown to the dog, the dog started to saliva because he knew that food was coming.

Symbols used to Trigger Behavior in Children and Adults
Conditioning is common in children especially in elementary school who are grasping new concepts of structure and order. They learn that certain symbols and colors have meaning and that they are expected to recognize and act on these. Teachers use call-and-response techniques to manage classroom behavior. Teachers teach students short, clever rhymes to let the student know they need to stop what they are doing and pay attention. They also use hand gestures and clapping as part of their call-and-response. Students respond to desired behaviors while having fun communicating back to the teacher that they understand what needs to be done. Adults also learn symbols which have meaning. Traffic signs are symbols of what behavior is expected from a driver or pedestrian. Behavior is trained so that we know how to drive and cross the street. There are also consequences which result when a driver or pedestrian does not follow these signs.

Similarities Between Learned Behavior in Animals and in Humans
Animals and humans learn behavior through positive reinforcement, observation, and repetition. Animals and humans respond to positive praise. Visually both learn what behavior is expected. Practicing behavior repeatedly helps master a new behavior. While most may assume that humans have a higher intellect than animals, this is not necessarily the case. Animals can be very intellectual and have the keen ability to sense danger, have an awareness of their surroundings, and the ability to communicate through sound. Most animals can be trained to new behaviors, although most respond to stimuli while humans are more likely to make decisions for their own new behavior for the sake of self-improvement.

Taming the Differences
It is more likely that an animal is subjected to physical conditioning as a way to learn behavior. It would be thought of as abuse to use a stick to train a child, but with a dog, there is no thought to using a stick or a leash for correction and to control them. Animals are submissive to humans, for whatever behavior the human wants of them—if no other reason of having no choice because of their confinement. They are taken from a community of same animals and are in a human’s kingdom, the house. They do not have any organizations they can call for help or support. At the mercy of the human, they hope for the best care. The human on the other hand at least has access to support organizations and resources available for abusive situations.

Human Differentiation Between the Behavioral Bias
Humans are conditioned best with intellect and a positive attitude. In George Orwell’s book 1984, he writes about a community called the Proles. These are people who have their own community within a larger government-controlled community they do not interact frequently with. The Proles are more concerned about their immediate world. They preserve the human spirit, are a feisty group of people, focused on love, hard work, are of a lower social level, and do not keep up with the world outside of their own. These Proles could be compared to the typical large retail stores of today, such as Walmart. As hearty, blue-collared employees they may have been with the store for many years and have built a bond and community with other employees who have been there for a long period of time. For these large discount retail stores, such as this one, it is typical that there is a community which forms within the store. The demographic is that of one which might be more social, less accepting of others, composed of individuals with lower education levels, a higher degree of attitude, and a need for order. These people need a structured system. They may fight the system with an attitude and break the rules but they need structure to align themselves to for productivity and success as individuals and as a whole. Obedience is also more likely, because rules and expectations are clear, but so is rebellion.

The next stage of education level is those who have a professional nature and maintain inner discipline and self-control. They readily adaptable to working with others. These people tend to accept others easier and realize that productivity is more important. Although structure is needed for behaviors, such as an HR policy, there isn’t much need for consequences for broken policy from management as all are expected to be adults. These employees require a looser managed structure because they are able to control their own behaviors.

People who are of an even higher intellect, need minimal to no structure. They typically are responsible for controlling others, and while they control themselves, they think in a wider capacity and have an ability to do more within their position. No rules can apply to them because they typically choose to live outside of any system’s rules. While they are capable of making larger decisions for the good of society or people, they also are capable of great damage. They typically do not misbehave, but they are not obedient to the small man’s laws. Overall, these people may break the rules or law, but typically they are loyal to their responsibility and make decisions for the good of people. Any bad behavior at an advanced level usually falls into loop-holes and is justified because the good outcome outweighs the bad. There is a reason in other words.

Correctional facilities apply to all. However the more intellect a person has and is a respected within society, despite whether what they do is good or bad, they are more likely not to go to a correctional facility. Quick thinkers also fall into this category as well, however, they are more likely to be institutionalized than those with caliber in society. Intellect is not necessarily defined upon education level. Speed is also a sign of intellect. Some people think so quickly they are able to twist the current system to their benefit and fool the entire population.

In the end, it is one’s own behavior for which one is ultimately accountable. Each must be responsible for guiding their own conscience for good and striving to go in the direction of good behavior over the tendency for making bad choices. This doesn’t necessarily mean a person lives less fully by having good behavior. It means they care about other people in the world who their behaviors may affect and for their own eternal good.


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The Signs of Communication

With communication today, two extremities of communication exist: self-expression and speaking with discretion. Self-expression, or speaking openly on any topic without much censorship or use of etiquette, is common by most of the population. The second, opposite extreme, is speaking with discretion and saying very little in order to preserve one’s reputation. This is more typical of professionals and anyone of class, although it may not necessarily always the case. How are either of these improving the way we communicate? How are both of these skewing the line of civilized communication?

Self-Expression
The first extreme of communication is self-expression which has become an acceptable way to communicate today for most Americans. Unlike other countries, the United States does not have laws against hate speech. What a person says has no societal limitations in most settings. With this increase in self-expression, and decrease in societal parameters for civilized speech, the majority of the population feels they can say whatever they want—and for the most part they do. There is little thought put into what is said. Rather than considering how what is communicated might hurt or offend another, the priority is placed on voicing opinions without discretion, using uncivilized expressions, and being heard.

In the past, social standards influenced improper communication. In Roman and Greek cultures, speaking was seen as an art which had to be mastered before a person was given the right to speak on a topic. It could take years to master becoming an orator. The aspiring speaker had to first learn the art by studying the writings of philosophers, mastering grammar, and learning how to speak. In more modern times, within the United States, social standards set the acceptability of civilized speech and good etiquette. Even a minor comment could eliminate a person from social circles. Differences of opinion could certainly make for a worthy topic of discussion. However, being cordial was expected at a minimum for more vivacious discussions which could lead to arguments. It was possible for people to be accepted, although they might have differing opinions, and still be valued and respected with human dignity.

Within the last 50 years, there has been a shift to self-expression. The ability to say whatever is on a person’s mind is acceptable whether in person or online. There are hardly any limits to what a person may speak about. Open communication is seen as a way to provide transparency and the “honest story” of any person or situation. While this has many benefits, it crosses a line when dignity is stepped upon and boundaries are crossed. Consideration is necessary before speaking with regards to whom a person is talking to, if the topic is appropriate, and the choice of respectful words which are said for a pleasant conversation. Talking about anything can be very damaging. In fact, much of what people talk about has veered away from “ideas” and “intellectual topics”. Instead, what is more common is digressive speech such as gossip or speaking of topics which are inappropriate, very personal or sensitive in nature, or comments which might advertise the negative rather than focus on the positive. There is no preservation of the human dignity of a person. What needs to be said, is what is said, regardless of how it may hurt or offend the other person.

On social networks, a simple post can flare up into a war of replies within seconds. This trolling is often classified inaccurately as a “discussion” and “freedom of speech”. It would be better described as intolerance for a different view which triggers others chiming in to counter the post with an escalating degree of negativity and close-mindedness. These can occur even on simple posts that may not have any intent to attract opinions, but which result in a soapbox of negative, heated, responses. While self-expression allows for openness and problem solving, it can also open the door for adversity. Communication on digressive topics, and intentionally creating unnecessary conflict are examples of unhealthy communication. Speaking about anything without consideration of another person is rude and uncivilized.

The Power of Silence
The other extreme for communication is to choose to say very little or to remain silent. By speaking cautiously a person is more likely to preserve their good reputation. It also provides safety, by finding no partiality to any party or issue. The person remains politically correct by withholding an opinion. In many spiritual teachings, silence is perceived as golden. By remaining silent, a person can reflect wisdom. Remaining silent, a person does not reveal what they know or do not know. Likewise, by not speaking, there is less of a chance of speaking in an unintelligent manner, speaking offensively, or divulging information which should not be revealed. Remaining silent is also a way to absorb heated conflict, inappropriate speech, and to buy in time to respond with a more thoughtful response.

There is a time and a place to speak. George Washington said, “If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter”.  While we should speak out rather than remain silent on situations of injustice, on political views or ways that may affect our life, saying less, rather than more can be a way which contributes to civility. Voicing an opinion without consideration, can breed hate more than solve problems. This is where uncivilized speech occurs. In today’s culture, it is more likely that the freedom of speech is taken too far through the self-expression of uncivilized conversation. Self-expression can be the ignition of unnecessary conflict just to express an opinion. When freedom of speech is taken to this extreme, responding with silence can help swing the equilibrium of communication, bringing it back to more peaceful speech and civilized communication. Knowing when to speak and when not to speak is important.

Finding the Balance with Human Dignity and Respect
Some social and professional settings still have standards for communication, although uncivilized speech is more popular. Realizing that there is a place for self-expression while maintaining a standard for civilized communication is the challenge which we face today. Many do not recognize digressive communication. Being desensitized by the current standard, hardly anyone today questions inappropriate speech which is on the tongues of most and found in media and by leaders. If culture continues to accept digressive speech, it is a reflection on our country, acceptability for digression and lack of etiquette, and is an insult to the right to the Freedom of Speech which we have. The First Amendment was created for Americans to speak up for freedom and liberties for all. With an acceptability of hate speech and speaking on digressive topics, society is infected with negativity, hate, unacceptability, intolerance for differences, immaturity, a lack of professionalism, and lack of human dignity. It shows an inability to communicate and interact with others. For a country which prides itself on being a melting pot, this is not congruent. Although not everyone will get along, there needs to be a greater degree of respect for differences whether it is race, belief, lifestyle, ability, economic or any other characteristic. Valuing differences and human life needs a higher tolerance and acceptance. Inequality will always exist, but human dignity needs to be upheld. Since the primary problem of unacceptability stems from inappropriate speech, correcting communication that is off-balance can help set society upright to a culture with a civilized standard.


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Genesis Pro – Create content quickly|StudioPress|Create WordPress sites and content quickly with prebuilt content blocks, sections and full page layouts using Genesis Pro!|06/10/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1554646&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
WP Engine – Summit 2020|WP Engine – Content|WP Engine Summit 2020 Goes Digital & Registration is Free|05/18/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1542163&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – SOC 2|WP Engine – Content|WP Engine Successfully Completes SOC 2 Type II Examination|05/18/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1542162&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Get 3 months free|WP Engine – Offer|WP Engine – Get 3 months free on annual plans|02/19/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=779590&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Managed WordPress Hosting|WP Engine – Content|Managed WordPress hosting, perfected.|02/19/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1497398&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Plans|WP Engine – Plans|WP Engine – Plans (With exclusive offer)|02/19/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=714568&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Affiliate Offer!|WP Engine – Offer|WP Engine – Affiliate Offer!|02/19/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1255604&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Worth It|WP Engine – Content|You spend 5x as much on your cable bill.|02/19/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=906810&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Easy Migration|WP Engine – Content|Migrate WordPress websites in just a few clicks.|02/19/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=906842&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Startup Plan|WP Engine – Plans|WP Engine – Startup Plan|02/19/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1055761&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Growth Plan|WP Engine – Plans|WP Engine – Growth Plan|02/19/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1055762&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Scale Plan|WP Engine – Plans|WP Engine – Scale Plan|02/19/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1055765&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – 2 Tier Referral|WP Engine – 2 Tier|WP Engine – 2 Tier Referral|02/19/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=419843&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Homepage|WP Engine|WP Engine – Homepage|02/19/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=394686&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
Free Genesis Framework & StudioPress Themes|Main|Sign up for a WP Engine plan and receive the Genesis Framework and 35+ StudioPress Themes free!|02/19/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1291532&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
Navigation Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Navigation Pro Theme|01/28/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1488409&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
StudioPress Themes on WP Engine|WP Engine – DXP|WP Engine – Premium StudioPress Themes|01/17/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1484364&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine for Developers|WP Engine – Content|Accelerated WordPress development with WP Engine|01/17/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=819404&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – DevKit|WP Engine – Content|Register for the WP Engine DevKit here!|01/17/2020|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1379286&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Speed Tool|WP Engine – Content|WP Engine – Speed Tool|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1270705&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Our Difference|Our Difference|Come see what makes WP Engine different.|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=715456&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
StudioPress Homepage|StudioPress|StudioPress Homepage|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320451&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
|StudioPress Themes for WordPress|StudioPress – Themes|StudioPress – Themes|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320634&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Pro Plus All-Theme Package|StudioPress – Themes|Pro Plus All-Theme Package|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320639&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Genesis Framework|Genesis|Genesis Framework|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320631&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Foodie Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Foodie Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320636&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Mai Lifestyle Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Mai Lifestyle Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320653&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Author Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Author Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320644&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Essence Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Essence Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320647&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Magazine Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Magazine Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320638&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Corporate Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Corporate Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1321095&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Authority Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Authority Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320642&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Monochrome Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Monochrome Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320702&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Business Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Business Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320728&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Refined Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Refined Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320699&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Metro Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Metro Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320646&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Academy Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Academy Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320648&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Altitude Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Altitude Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320649&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Agency Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Agency Pro Theme|11/07/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320650&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Infinity Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Infinity Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437804&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Refined Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Refined Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437799&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Business Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Business Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437794&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Author Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Author Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437786&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Altitude Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Altitude Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437779&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
AgentPress Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|AgentPress Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437776&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Parallax Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Parallax Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437726&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Agency Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Agency Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437725&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Foodie Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Foodie Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437724&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Elegance Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Elegance Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437723&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Mai Lifestyle Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Mai Lifestyle Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437722&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Essence Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Essence Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437721&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Authority Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Authority Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437720&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Revolution Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Revolution Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437719&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Breakthrough Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Breakthrough Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437715&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Magazine Theme Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Magazine Theme Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437712&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
|Academy Pro Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Academy Pro Demo|10/17/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1437706&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Genesis Framework Demo|StudioPress – Themes|Genesis Framework Demo|10/14/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1435149&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
WP Engine – Google C2 Announcement|Content|Increase your site’s performance on WP Engine with Google Cloud Platform’s newest infrastructure. |08/20/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1410676&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
|WP Engine – DevKit Blog Annoucement|WP Engine – Content|WP Engine Blog Post Announcement|06/12/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1379776&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – New Affiliate Offer|WP Engine – Offer|Get 3 months free when you sign up for WP Engine.|05/02/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1343154&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
Enterprise Performance|WP Engine – DXP|WP Engine – Enterprise Performance|04/01/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1212175&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
Actionable Intelligence|WP Engine – DXP|WP Engine – Actionable Intelligence|04/01/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1212176&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
Creative Agility|WP Engine – DXP|WP Engine – Creative Agility|04/01/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1212174&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
Ecosystem Integration|WP Engine – DXP|WP Engine – Ecosystem Integration|04/01/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1212179&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Resource Center|WP Engine – Content|WP Engine – Resource Center|04/01/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1212181&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – Page Performance|WP Engine – Content|WP Engine – Page Performance|04/01/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=959644&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
WP Engine – 3 months free on annual plans!|WP Engine – Offer|WP Engine – 3 months free on annual plans!|04/01/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=917225&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||WP Engine
Revolution Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Revolution Pro Theme|02/20/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1324865&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Genesis Framework Features|Genesis|Why Genesis is the Foundation of Any Smart WordPress Design|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320450&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
AgentPress Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|AgentPress Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320637&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Daily Dish Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Daily Dish Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320640&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Parallax Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Parallax Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320641&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Digital Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Digital Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320643&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Atmosphere Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Atmosphere Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320651&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Infinity Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Infinity Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320654&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Generate Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Generate Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320655&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Design Palette Pro|Genesis|Design Palette Pro|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320656&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Aspire Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Aspire Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320657&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Gallery Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Gallery Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320658&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Ambiance Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Ambiance Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320659&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Brunch Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Brunch Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320661&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Enterprise Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Enterprise Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320662&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Cafe Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Cafe Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320663&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Outreach Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Outreach Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320664&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Executive Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Executive Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320665&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Lifestyle Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Lifestyle Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320676&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Modern Portfolio Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Modern Portfolio Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320677&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
News Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|News Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320678&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Glam Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Glam Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320679&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
eleven40 Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|eleven40 Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320680&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Education Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Education Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320681&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Pretty Chic Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Pretty Chic Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320682&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Smart Passive Income Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Smart Passive Income Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320692&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Minimum Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Minimum Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320693&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Sixteen Nine Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Sixteen Nine Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320694&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Modern Studio Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Modern Studio Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320695&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Expose Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Expose Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320696&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Centric Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Centric Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320697&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Wellness Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Wellness Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320698&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Beautiful Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Beautiful Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320700&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Maker Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Maker Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320703&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Hello! Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Hello! Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320729&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Simply Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Simply Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320730&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Showcase Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Showcase Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320733&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Studio Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Studio Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320734&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Cook’d Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Cook’d Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320735&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Divine Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Divine Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320736&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Streamline Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Streamline Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320737&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
No Sidebar Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|No Sidebar Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320738&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Agent Focused Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Agent Focused Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1320739&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Workstation Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Workstation Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1321093&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Pretty Creative Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Pretty Creative Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1321094&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Breakthrough Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Breakthrough Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1321096&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Market Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Market Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1321098&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
Kickstart Pro Theme|StudioPress – Themes|Kickstart Pro Theme|02/13/2019|https://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=1321099&u=2451872&m=41388&urllink=&afftrack=|0|||StudioPress
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Tips for Preparing for a Good Presentation

Whether you are the team lead on a project standing up in front of a group for the first time, or the CEO giving a presentation at a conference with thousands of attendees, it helps to be prepared. Polishing your shoes as well as your words and delivery, all help in making a lasting impression on your audience.

Here are some tips to polish up your presentation. The first step is to create an outline. This will help organize your ideas as you brainstorm what you want to talk about. Consider what questions your audience is hoping to find answers from in what you are speaking about and research valuable information to provide to them. The most important aspect of any presentation is the content which is provided. Some ideas include:

  • Using relevant stories is a great way to share information
  • Add humor
  • Plan for the audience to interact as part of the presentation
  • Be sensitive to avoid using words or content which might offend your audience
  • Use language which the audience understands
  • Provide new information and “take-aways”
  • Be simple and clear
    Relax and have fun!


Having a visual aid such as a slide presentation to show on a larger screen will help listeners stay focused and serve as a guide for yourself as you speak. Design a slide presentation using your creativity. Add in interesting images, video clips, web links, and animation. Provide a printed copy of the outline for the audience to use during the presentation and to take with them. This added visual element will keep the audience engaged as you speak and help them pay attention to what you have to say. Practice your delivery.

As a presenter, you have the front of the audience as your stage. You might choose to stay in one place or you might choose to walk around the room. Realize that body language, using your hands to gesture, using tonal variation of your voice, using the proper volume, and being animated and alive will drive enthusiasm to those you are delivering your speech to. Ask the audience questions to engage them in your topic. Be open to questions and decide ahead of time if you wish to extend an invitation for questions to be asked during your talk or if they should held until the end. Be sure to practice your speech in advance. It will help you anticipate for what you might be leaving out. Your presentation will be more polished as you become more familiar with it with practice. If you can get access to the room you will be speaking in, see if you can practice there. Put together a checklist of items you may need taken care of before your presentation such as a key to the room, having all of the equipment set up and materials printed, knowledge of how to work a slide projector, a glass of water, and a planned schedule to arrive early. Not having to worry about these on the day of your presentation will help you be more relaxed and ready to speak!

If you find you would like to become a better speaker and refine your communication and presentation skills for 2020, there are local chapters of Toastmasters which can help with talking in front of others. You also can video tape yourself and take notes on what you need to work on. Look your best, come prepared, and don’t worry if you make a mistake! Your audience will appreciate that you’ve given them useful information. Having a polished and prepared presentation will show that you are professional and trusted source for information.


Find more resources with these affiliate links…Shop Amazon!

 

Goals for Speech

What can you say? What are you saying? Setting goals for good etiquette also applies to using slang, profanity, and not being sensitive. Do you realize how easy it is to use abbreviated ways of speaking and choosing grammar which is not correct? While it may be understandable, it may be sending off signals that you lack education, culture and can’t speak or write correctly. Here are some examples:

  • “I be tired”
  • “I is not talking right”
  • “I ain’t doin’ that”
  • “I am not doin’ that”
  • “I got five cents”
  • “I asked did he do it?”
  • “I don’t got none
  • “and then she says that she is going to the store”
  • “She ugly. Something is wrong with the way that person looks”
  • Frequently apologizing to start a sentenceI am sorry. Can you tell me…”
  • Dropping words out of the sentence: they customers”, “he the man
  • Using the wrong tense of a verb: “He have drunk that soda before.”
  • Calling people by inappropriate monikers, racial monikers, or physical monikers: “not had”, “fatso”, “chink”, “spec”, “retard”
  • Double negative: “I don’t got none”
  • Use of the word “like” and overuse of the word “like”: “Like you know?”
  • “Dis” instead of “this”
  • Speaking about sensitive or taboo topics which might make conversation uncomfortable for the others listening
  • Pointing out what you perceive as mistakes in others
  • Mocking other people in sounds or words
  • Ebonics and ‘talkin’ Texan’ should not be an excuse to use poor grammar
  • Confrontational speech with attitude tone and being resistant to almost anything
  • Not speaking to the level of the other person with use of unequal vocabulary, speed, proper tone of voice, language, or holding multiple conversations within the same conversation if they cannot understand or respond
  • Forgetting to use “please”, “thank you”, and “I am sorry”

Style your character. Use proper speech.


Look for these helpful resources on Amazon! Shop and buy…

Mind over Memes: Passive Listening, Toxic Talk, and Other Modern Language Follies
by Diana Senechal

How to Say It, Third Edition:
Choice Words, Phrases, Sentences, and Paragraphs for Every Situation

by Rosalie Maggio

30 Days to Taming Your Tongue:
What You Say (and Don’t Say) Will Improve Your Relationships

by Deborah Smith Pegues

Successful Women Speak Differently:
9 Habits That Build Confidence, Courage, and Influence

by Valorie Burton


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A Short Play on Etiquette: Goals for Etiquette and Manners in the Workplace

Scene 1:
In a conversation at work and there is another bomb being flung. Take smoking out of the workplace, and you still have the toxicity of profanity and gossip. Well it’s overtime to clean that up, but how, if the people in the workplace don’t find it important? Taking a quick look and checking the watch for the 4th time this hour, Sally still has not arrived at work or called to say she is going to be late. It may be because all last week the latest careless catch phrase was about her, and although it violated HR policies, no one seemed to care. Most people are hiding in their office and prefer to text interoffice rather than say hello and as a result team spirit is at its usual all-time low because no one knows each other, let alone cares to know each other. Cliques are common between small groups of 2-3 people and for associations that is about it. Co-workers love to talk. It’s safer to be an outsider. It shows potential for management or something…

Scene 2:
A customer walks into a business, “What a lovely day it is, maybe I will buy something.” Entering the store, she passes by an employee, and is ready to flash a quick smile hello, but then is puzzled by the insulting, sarcastic greeting which was said addressed to her. Ignoring it at first, what was said sets in and her eyes open wide in concern as it was about her. She continues through the store, grabs the items she came in for, and heads to the register. As she waits in line, the cashier is overheard spreading gossip to the person in front of her while checking out. Now, next in line, the cashier greets her with the standard, “How are you today?” The truth is, the sunshine has fallen considerably since she entered the store and now she is being attacked again at the register. Is the store really paying this employee? Are they this oblivious that this employee has their own agenda fed by the community to slander an individual? And to make matters worse, it is one of their customers? How on earth does this support the business? What would the CEO say? After filling out countless receipts at this store and other businesses, obviously the managers do not see it as a concern. These employees still manage to keep their jobs, while creating a discrimination issue that has caused significant loss not just with being publicly humiliated, but with her own employment search, and in many other facets of life including housing. Having communicated this to several, it seems to have no impact.

Scene 3:
“Praise God!” Isn’t that what church is about? Now it is like walking on eggshells. Going into any church, any verbal hate bombs can be heard at any time by random people, entire rows of people, those who strategically choose to intentionally sit right behind where you are, those serving, and leaders. Within an entire area of church communities and religions this hate, gossip and name-calling has become acceptable—and shunning for good values, not even bad ones. Is this the new trend for Church… Suddenly, the ‘Body of Christ’ takes on an entire different meaning. Since when was going to church about chanting sexual loyalty and requirements rather than about worshiping God? All parts of the Body of Christ [people] are important as part of the body although different. While there is a degree of acceptance within church communities, you have to think what people are really coming for and who is reading and living it and who is whipping it out differently with other agendas. Looking at the cross, it was the same for Him wasn’t it? People don’t seem to have changed much in 2000 years.

Scene 4:
“Whahahahahahahahha”, she twirls around the pencil in her hand as she debates her next hurl of words with the next guest, disposing unwanted information. With the front desk as her stage to be able to say anything, the books are a back seat for horror and murder. The fellow co-worker shelves it as a means to pass the time. They should be booked but for some reason this is the way customer service even at local libraries is now-a-days and is acceptable to stay employed.

Scene 5:
“Well good morning!”, greeting the co-worker with a big smile. “Thank you for letting me know the editorial is running a little bit behind schedule so we can plan to adjust the workload to meet deadlines. This will affect everyone on the team and  I know they will all appreciate the update.”

“Does anyone want to go to lunch today? I think we should celebrate that we were able to get that last project out the door despite all the hurdles and it turned out great too!”. 

“We will be sure to copy everyone who needs to be included on this project.”

“I am happy to assist you today. Please take your time and let me know if you have any questions.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you for shopping here today. We look forward to seeing you again soon!”

The company’s mission and motto are priority but politeness, consideration, and respect makes the team successful. Everyone is a winner because each brings unique skills to the table to contribute with. As a result, customers enjoy the business, and it breeds loyalty naturally as a good business, simply because it doesn’t foster gossip but is one that radiates positivity and customer service.

Watch this film online about 1950’s office etiquette!
Office Etiquette (1950): Courtesy & Manners in the Workplace Film


Enjoy plays? Want to learn more about office etiquette? Click to view more…

Books
Toxicity in the Workplace: Coping with Difficult People on the Job
by
Shonda Lackey PhD

 

Do You Have the Job Search Blues?

Being in a job search can be difficult, especially if it goes on for a long period of time. While it seems that jobs are easy to find, many applicants can send out countless applications and never be discovered. While the Internet has made job searching easier in some ways, it is just as easy to get lost in the thousands of applications being received by employers. Online job application forms may be more complicated than necessary requiring pages of information to be filled out and duplicating resume information already uploaded. Doing this for one company is one thing, but by the time you’ve hit 80,000 job applications, you’re looking for the email address for the saintly company who just would like you to email the resume and give them your phone number.

There is plenty of time to learn, network, and do things during the day which you may not have had time for before. The first few months can be new found freedom, but it soon gets old. With too much time available, a job seeker is left to figure out what to do with all of the time during the day. A person can hit despair fairly quickly without using their noggin’ to reinvent the day and creating mini-goals to keep on track. Here are a few ideas to ‘make it through’ the most difficult of days:

  • Get up reasonably early to find new energy with an entire day ahead of you.
  • Create a schedule. It helps to switch gears and have time limits set to accomplish tasks.
  • Make a goal list of what new skills you want to learn.
  • Practice and learn new skills each day. Create new work to add to your portfolio.
  • Make exercise as a mandatory part of your day.
  • Set aside time for prayer and meditation.
  • Listen to music.
  • Listen to motivational speakers.
  • Network with others who are in your field, as well as friends and family members.
  • If you become frustrated or lack motivation in your search for work, as is the case with some days, then give yourself permission to stop and do something completely different.
  • Take advantage of the time off to enjoy the outdoors, take a trip, explore and do things during the day you typically would not be able to do.
  • Find a hobby which you can enjoy. Check books out from the library.
  • Find another source of income with a part-time job or start your own business.
  • Change your environment and work elsewhere. Find new energy working at the library, a coffee shop, or another place.
  • Reward yourself with what is within budget. Treat yourself to a .50 cent soda, a slice of pizza, a bag of chocolate from the dollar store, or scavenger hunt at the stores for other discounts. For larger goals, make plans to treat yourself once you accomplish them.
  • Add “house projects” as part of your schedule—those projects you’ve been putting off.
  • Clean and organize your house, storage areas, and car. It will make you feel so much better and help streamline your time when you are employed again.
  • Volunteer.
  • Search for local events and workshops to attend.
  • Set aside job applications which are overly frustrating. These are the ones which are too involved or ones which are a struggle to fill out because the data fields do not easily take information. Set them aside until later or bypass them all together.
  • Be sure to plan for unemployment calls which have intricate voicemail systems or long hold times. Set aside time when you are doing something else and don’t mind holding on the phone. Make it a time to relax with a favorite drink or by the pool when you aren’t rushed. These types of calls can cause undue amounts of frustration and add to an already existing feeling of despair.
  • Remember that as important as finding employment is, your value as a person is not determined by your search or by others. Be diligent, but think of the bigger picture when hopelessness and despair starts to creep in.

By doing these things you can encourage yourself and fight the job search blues!

Do you know someone in a job search?
Offer positive words to reinforce their value and give them hope. Spending time with a job seeker doing something low-cost or free can help break up the monotony of being in isolation and give them new energy. Keep your ears open for job leads which you can pass on to them. 

@cultureofkind


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The Sick of Social Impolite

Another online post hurling words of rudeness.

Feverishly social listeners try to respond quickly to maintain the brand image of their business and move irate customers offline. Personal conversations however are less likely for recovery. These spontaneous posts have little construction to them, typed on the spur of the moment. Statements are made about whatever comes to mind first with very little thought put to them other than what is said. What may be intended as sarcastic humor can be rude, negative, and even hateful. Little consideration is given to who is it written for. To say anything without regard for others is our right as freedom of speech, isn’t it? Or is it.

As part of successful communication a degree of respect must exist between two parties and a desire to minimize conflict in order to communicate. To achieve this, you must practice being polite. This is the case whether online or in person. Over the last 25 years there has been an increase in rudeness by approximately 75% (Statistica 2019). Online rudeness has steadily increased with more people using the Internet.

When a person you are communicating with in-person is in front of you, their facial expression can indicate how your message is received. A polite person will look for these indicators as they communicate and react accordingly. Human nature causes most people to recognize the effects of an insult and stop. Most even respond with an apology. This is not the case online. Candid responses are posted not to individuals but to avatars with the ability to text responses. Unless someone responds back, you have no idea how a post may have affected them, and it may not be real. Online posts can essentially be spontaneous real thoughts, which are posted with little regard for who is reading it. Posts can take their toll on the recipient.

Trolling and cyberbullying are extreme cases of impoliteness which are common on the Internet. Trolling is when someone posts inflammatory remarks to start an argument which results in a long tirade of heated, opinionated responses. These can easily get out of control and if not moderated can be soapbox platforms of spiraled negativity. Cyberbullying can be defined as deliberate harm directed at a person to haze them with hate remarks and threats. There are laws against cyberbullying, as well as libel and slander which result in the defamation of reputation and character of an individual.

Another reason for an increase in impoliteness online is the standard for civility has changed significantly. If rudeness is not corrected as wrong, it becomes the standard. Posting positive messages is one way to encourage politeness online as the new standard.

Putting thought into what is posted whether it is text, photos, memes, videos or any other media shared is wise. It is a reflection of yourself regardless of whether it reaches one person or many. Electronic communication can reach thousands of people within seconds. Once it is sent, sometimes it is not able to be reversed. Consider if what you are sending is appropriate before you hit send.

Help recover politeness by being socially polite online.

@cultureofkind


Learn more. Shop Amazon affiliate links!

Books
A Modern Guide to Social Media Etiquette
by Max McPherson

101 Ways to Say Thank You, Kids and Teens: All-Occasion Thank-You Note Templates, Social Media Etiquette & Gratitude Guide
by Kelly Browne

DVD Movie
Cyberbully
Starring: Emily Osment (Actor), Kay Panabaker (Actor), Charles Binam (Director)

Amazon Prime Video
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It’s Sensitive Man

Q & A of Making Sense of the Sensitive

 

Q: I am concerned about a stranger, and want to help, but I am not sure of the best way to approach the person to find out how I can help. What do you suggest?

A: There is a difference between prying and sincerely wanting to get involved to express concern and help someone. First, start with a basic question. Listen and watch for indications of how the person is reacting as you converse. If the person is open to the way the conversation is progressing, continue with further investigation asking more specific questions. If the person becomes hostile or abrupt, then back out of the discussion and change the topic. You can try to come back to test the waters again later if the person seems more receptive. It is always a good idea to be sincere and warm in your approach. People can usually tell if you are being nosy or if you truly care. Once you are able to determine what the situation is, express compassion and ask politely how you can help. It is kind and thoughtful to follow up later if you are able to.

Q: What is the proper way to confront gossip?

A: While confrontation is typically not recommended, when it comes to gossip it is best to confront the gossiper and address it. By ignoring and not addressing it, the gossip being said results in being represented as being truth.

Q: How do you politely ask someone to stop swearing or using inappropriate references?

A: Ask the person to please stop using language around you. Tell them that the references being made are highly offensive and inappropriate.

Q: What is the best way to address emotional relationship issues?

A: Emotional relationship questions and conversations can be delicate situations. Follow the rule of 3 C’s. Current, Concise, and Continuity. Focus on what is current, not the past. Be concise. State a continuity plan of what you would like to see moving forward. Plan for a quiet place to have a private conversation and be honest, welcoming open communication. Always ask questions with kindness and respect.

Q: How do you effectively ask someone to stop gossiping or spreading rumors?

A: If a person is igniting gossip, there is usually something missing within that individual, such as a lack of self-esteem or a desire for popularity. Try to compliment the person and build them up, countering their negativity. Ask the person to stop, explaining how the gossip is damaging and not appropriate.

Q: How can a person communicate with the highest level of dignity to a person?

A: The best way to communicate to someone with the highest level of dignity and worth is speaking directly to the person with sincerity, respect, and value.

Q: Is there a checklist of questions I can routinely ask myself to make sure I am being kind to myself?

A: No matter what your state in life is, there is a responsibility to take time to care for yourself. Being kind to yourself means fulfilling your basic needs, as is necessary to human existence, and making time for yourself. Think of how you can rejuvenate your energy and spirit. Take time for yourself by treating yourself, taking a break, making time for a nap, relaxing, spending quiet time in meditation, or doing something you enjoy. Taking care of yourself on a regular basis makes being kind to others easier.

Q: How does a person state a complaint about something which is offensively affecting others?

A: The kindest and most polite way to address this is to start with a comment addressing the oblivion, stating what the offense is resulting in, followed by the request. For example, a person may be wearing a strong scent. Rather than responding with a rhetoric statement or dramatic remark, you could say, “I don’t know if you realize how strong that scent is—you might consider using it more sparingly.” or “There have been some complaints from people who are having a reaction to that—and I’d appreciate if you’d cut back.”

Q: I am not in agreement with how someone believes. I feel strongly about this and want to say something. Normally, I blurt my opinion out unsolicited. How can I state what is on my mind in a more kind manner?

A: It is considered impolite to tell people “You should do…”. No one has the right to tell someone how to live their life. The best way to state your opinion, or complaint, is to first state what does work and then follow by saying what doesn’t work. This is considered constructive criticism. Invite open discussion if you are able to. This is the most kind and considerate way to address personal and professional matters of differing opinion.

Q: What is the correct way to respond to a rude statement?

A: Treating offenses as accidents, rather than offenses, shows you believe the best in a person. It is a polite way to give the offender a way to back down. Politeness usually has a higher success rate than responding to rudely to rudeness.

Q: Is it polite to give advice to someone even if it is for improvement?

A: In most cases, no. However, if the advice is welcome from someone who you are already close to, then it should be done with humility and with tactfulness.

Q: How do you respond to let someone know that a question is not welcomed?

A: Respond to unwelcome questions by thanking the person and then stating an appreciation that they asked, without satisfying them with an answer. For example, you could say: “Thank you, I know you mean well.” or “Thank you for taking an interest.”. Another way to respond is with an irrelevant reply. A long pause before responding to indicate disapproval is also a way to responsd. These responses should suffice to indicate that the question is not welcomed. Keep in mind that there is no need to humiliate the person for being nosy. However, it is not out of line to state that they should have more consideration in the future from asking such an invasive question.

Q: I am often asked questions which I do not know how to respond to based on the circumstances. Do you have any suggestions?

A: Try non-verbal responses such as raising your eyebrows or giving a mysterious look or smile.

Q: When a conversation is beginning to turn into gossip, what is a way to stop this?

A: Two replies you can say to counter gossip are:
“Does that person know you are telling me this? Because we are good friends and I wouldn’t want to have that person think I am talking behind their back.” or “Please do not put any ideas about that person in my head. I will not carry around a conclusion about another person without sharing it with them.”

Q: What recommendations are there to responding to anger with kindness?

A: Giving a person or yourself time and space to cool down, is an effective and kind response to anger.

Q: I have noticed that people have differing views on privacy of others. How can there be more sensitivity to the kindness of privacy of human lives and relationships?

A: It is not just unkind, but extremely rude to intrude on another person’s privacy. Privacy comes in many forms. Having individual privacy or privacy within relationships is a necessary part of life. Intruding on this ruins intrinsic joys, and the very essence of the human spirit. Examples of privacy could be a new friendship, a couple kissing, buying a present for someone, having a conversation with a family member, praying, being creative, writing, expressing love for another, or other personal moments in a person’s life. Responding with sensitivity to these private moments means averting the eyes, asking permission before taking the liberty to join in, and declining to trespass given the opportunity. When noticing someone violating the privacy of another, be sensitive to this by encouraging them to kindly stop out of respect for the other person.

Be Cultured. Be Kind.
@cultureofkind

[written for @cultureofkind]


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