Cher-Reading List

Enjoy reading, watching movies, and shopping? Cherbloggin has a list of products on each article page. Order by clicking on affiliate links on this page and throughout @cherbloggin on WordPress. There are over 500+ links to product recommendations including books, movies, appliances, gifts, and subscriptions. Here is a list of books I’ve recently read and enjoyed! Check back as I continue to add to this list with new books and media every couple of weeks.


Books
The Key the Doctrine of the Eucharist
by Abbot Vonier, foreword Peter Kreeft and Aiden Nichols
The richness of the sacrament of the Eucharist and the biblical meaning behind the tradition of the sacrifice at the Mass is explained in this book. I enjoyed this book so much, I read it twice.

Walking with Mary: A Biblical Journey from Nazareth to the Cross
by Edward Sri
Mary was obedient to God’s will, continuing to say yes even under the most difficult circumstances always trusting and believing in humbleness and obedience. This book takes a journey through Mary’s life and shows how she lives her life, filled with faith, with examples that can be applied to our own journey.

Jesus, The Way, the Truth and The Life
by Marcellino D’Ambrosio
If you have ever struggled with reading the Bible, this book pieces the stories and books of the Bible together with clarity using everyday language. There are interesting historical tidbits and facts included which enrich a person’s understanding of the Bible and the time in history in which Jesus lived.

The Power of Humility
by Fr. Candice Bourke
This book explains what being humble means in relation to God, other people, and in the way a person views themself. The power of humility changes a person to live a more virtuous life.

15 Days of Prayer with Thomas Merton
by Andre Gozier, O.S.B.
Thomas Merton, a Cistercian monk, draws from classic and monastic spirituality with daily suggestions of how to pray to have a stronger relationship with God.

Thank You for Being Such a Pain. Spiritual Guidance for Dealing with Difficult People.
by Mark I. Rosen, PhD
This book provides spiritual guidance on how to deal with people who can be challenging and advice on how to work through troublesome relationships. There are several enlightening quotes and stories throughout this book to enjoy and learn from as gems of inspiration.

1984
by George Orwell
A classic novel, and thought-provoking book of what society is like controlled by a government which limits knowledge, demands conformity of lifestyle, and has no legal system but grave punishments for not being aligned with beliefs by the government. Orwell presents the idea of what it might be to exist in a world where Big Brother is always watching, love and free-thought is restricted, truths which have always been taught are re-written to new truths, and vocabulary changed to a new vocabulary.

Photoshop CC Classroom in a Book 2020
by Andrew Faulkner and Conrad Chavez
This book has easy to follow lessons for the most recent version of Photoshop with exercises to follow and a review at the end of each chapter. The book includes a link to download exercise files for each chapter. Additional resources are available in the back of the book including a visual chart for tools and quick keys.

Affiliate Marketing:
How to Become a Seven Figure Affiliate Marketer in Today’s Digital World

by K.M., Kasim

Blogging a 6 Figure Business Strategy in 2020: The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide on How to Make a Profit and Passive Income Online for a Living, Using Social Media, Seo, and Affiliate Marketing Secrets
by Brandon Blueprints

Content Machine:
Use Content Marketing to Build a 7-figure Business With Zero Advertising

by Dan Norris

How To Make Money Blogging:
How I Replaced My Day-Job and How You Can Start A Blog Today

by Bob Lotich

How to Start a Blog: Make Money Online in 2020.
A Step by Step Guide to Promote Your Business

by Sarah Miller and Vanessa Manson

How to Write Great Blog Posts that Engage Readers (Kindle Version)
by Steve Scott

The Profitable Content System:
The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Creating Wildly Profitable Content Without Burnout

by Meera Kothand

Dynamic Digital Marketing:
Master the World of Online and Social Media Marketing to Grow Your Business
Dawn McGruer


Movies
Tangled
Starring: Mandy Moore, Zachary Levi
Directors: Nathan Greno, Byron Howard 
Rating: PG
Format: DVD
This 2010 Disney, computer-animated, musical fantasy film is based on the story of Rapunzel, who has magical long-hair with powers to glow and heal. She lives in a castle secluded from the world with her stepmother. After befriending a runaway thief named Flynn in the castle, she convinces him to help her escape and see the world which leads her to her parents. A bright, light-hearted movie for any age!

Sing
Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, Seth MacFarlane 
Director: Garth Jennings
Rating: PG
Format: DVD
This 2016, light-hearted, computer-animated, movie produced by Illumination released by Universal Pictures, is filled with music and funny scenes that are sure to make you laugh. Singing animals, each with their own personality, showcase their talents in a singing competition which results in saving their favorite theater. If you love music and animated films—this is one you won’t want to miss.


Subscriptions
Amazon Prime
Watch Thousands of Movies and TV Shows anytime. Music. Unlimited reading. Free Twitch games. Prime members receive discounts on products, shipping, and in-home and in-car delivery.

Amazon Kindle Unlimited
Unlimited reading. Unlimited listening. Any device.


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Personality of Coronavirus

I am surprised at how compliant everyone has been with wearing a mask. It is mandatory within stores and public buildings, but it is just as common to see people wearing masks outside exercising. In Texas, even with the heat in the 100’s, people are continuing to wear masks outdoors, sweating from fear of the Coronavirus.

I think it would be interesting to do a psychological study of people based on how much they are masking themselves. As concern for the Coronavirus has continued, I’ve noticed people covering up their faces more and more. In retail environments where there have been the most people, I have seen people so covered up you cannot even see their face! How can the police even identify a thief anymore? Women are seen wearing large sunglasses and masks so that only their foreheads are left uncovered. Men wear bandanas that cover up the entire bottom half of their face below their eyes. Whereas in most cases it is difficult to implement any kind of policy, somehow wearing a mask is not even questioned. There are very few people who argue with it. How many of these are wearing a mask for prevention reasons and how many are wearing it because of psychological needs for safety, security, love, and belonging?

I have seen people who have their entire face covered. Is this a sign of care and security that the person is trying to create for themselves? Does the amount of coverage of the face signify fulfilling a need of self-love and way of conquering pain in their life, like trying to swaddle themselves in a baby blanket? Or maybe it is coverage from the fear of contracting the virus built up from all the hype and coverage of media, rather than the virus itself.

Perhaps for some, it is a way to physically look better or a means to lose weight. Sweating under a mask burns off calories on an entirely different area of the body than is typical. Similarly, with weight loss, how is it that a person can breathe who is exercising with their mouth and nose covered? I had a gym membership and it was manageable to walk on a treadmill at a slow speed with a mask on. However, any faster cardio activity was nearly impossible as the mask restrained breathing and caused my face to become really hot. Do people who workout intensely masked think it will strengthen their lungs by restraining their air? For those who are self-conscious about the bottom half of their face, it provides a chance to keep it hidden, but for most of us, we need a full supply of air. Likewise, it is a mystery to me how cyclists are able to ride their bikes completely masked. Yet many of them are cycling miles around the lake at the same speed as normal. How many of the walkers and runners with dogs on a leash do not care that the Coronavirus can be contracted to their pet? Where are the pet masks? Wouldn’t it make more sense if both pet and owner wore a mask or didn’t?

Living in a self-expressive era, people are eager to express themselves and show their personality and style. For those who care to express themselves by mask, wearing a unique mask is a way to do this. The number of styles I have seen have ranged from glitter and bling, to exaggerated mouths on the mask, patriotic versions, cartoons, and plenty of different colors and patterns. Those who love to sew, were quick to see the Coronavirus as an opportunity to show their skills. Handmade masks were made and distributed to friends and family members. Many still wear the basic disposable, blue and white mask. Bandanas also have been a quick makeshift for a mask, easily made by folding a bandana into thirds and popping hair bands on each end.

Very few people are actually practicing social distancing with 6 feet of space, but wearing a mask is followed by nearly the entire population and has become a trend. Has self-expression and the trend for fashion tied in with keywords like “social distancing” created a fad to drive compliancy?

Health and self-expression are always going to be top-sellers when it comes to the general public. Having an ailment or a special condition, makes you a commodity. We see this with parents and their children. “My child has ADHD”, or whatever other symptom, suddenly makes the child “special” and the parents have a topic to talk about. Topics revolve around the problem with their child, rather than emphasizing what the child excels in. This is a way parents can converse with one another encountering less feeling of inadequacy. Empathy can be found with a health issue, whereas bragging on talent might create adversity with another parent. The same type of approach applies to adult-to-adult conversation. Adults would rather discuss their woes rather than talk about what is uplifting. How many older people talk about their pains, medications and doctors visits when it would be more pleasant to hear about their life experiences. It creates a concern for self, which results in compassion from the other person. With the Coronavirus everyone gets a special band-aid pasted on their face.

It is understandable that vulnerable populations such as the elderly might have a greater fear of catching the Coronavirus. One would think that children would be of a higher concern as well. In retail store environments, I have heard mothers question why their children must wear a mask or if an exception can be made. Events and kids meals might make exceptions for kids, but with smaller lungs and little bodies, it would seem obvious they would fall into the high concern bracket. Psychologically is it that the parent feels neglected of care and must nurture themselves by wearing a mask while giving the child the benefit of freedom? The parent positions him or herself as the one who needs care above the child, when it should be both.

With the rich and famous, masking opens up more opportunities to be in public and not be identified. For those aspiring to be rich and famous, they too can dress differently and go around town in mask for a different experience. It is a chance for the affluent to be fashionable and show their sense of fashion by affording specialized masks to coordinate with their outfits. An article was posted about the Queen of England who wears a mask that matches her daily wardrobe of brightly colored suits. I also saw a young woman in downtown Dallas who had a mask made of the exact material of her outfit.  

While some cultures such as Islam require head coverings, covering the face is new for most Western cultures. Will this develop a greater appreciation for our mouths? An uncovered mouth is needed for sound and volume. Many hard of hearing must be affected by not being able to hear people who have mouth coverings on. It may create a new vision for how we see people, noticing the person rather than the external qualities. The mouth is also used for reading facial expressions. A person can take a vacation from smiling and no one will even know. I’ve even seen people stick their tongue out at me from behind their mask. And as for revenue from foundation makeup and lipstick, I would imagine sales are down. Personally, I prefer to be mask-free as much as possible, but follow policies where wearing a mask is required.

Wearing a mask is the perfect prelude to a reformation of etiquette in our culture. After being in timeout with the Coronavirus, with shelter in place, we were able to have a greater appreciation for our freedom and ability to interact with one another. Covering the mouth and nose, can visually signify halting gossip and nosiness, which is also indicative of rudeness. When restrictions were lifted for public shopping, it was a renewed experience of respectfulness of distance and the exclusiveness of having space while shopping. People were obedient to this and cautious of infecting others by following social distancing procedures. Now that most places have opened up, there seems to be not much difference as everyday life returns to normal. When we take our masks off, we will see other people’s faces again. What it would be like to remove the band-aids over our mouths and noses yielding a healed and healthy society of people. Furthermore, what if being mask-free meant a world culture safe from the Coronavirus, and one with a greater respectfulness for each other in our interactions and speech.  

Note: It is noted that the Coronavirus is real and has caused many deaths worldwide. This article is written from another perspective hoping to present other points such as how well marketed the Coronavirus has been with precautions followed seamlessly by the majority of the population because of the scare. A lack of respectfulness in today’s culture is equally contagious and deadly, which is a natural segue to this current worldwide concern.


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Coronavirus Ice Mold Tray
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The Case Against Masks: Ten Reasons Why Mask Use Should be Limited
by Kent Heckenlively and Judy Mikovits


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The Signs of Communication

With communication today, two extremities of communication exist: self-expression and speaking with discretion. Self-expression, or speaking openly on any topic without much censorship or use of etiquette, is common by most of the population. The second, opposite extreme, is speaking with discretion and saying very little in order to preserve one’s reputation. This is more typical of professionals and anyone of class, although it may not necessarily always the case. How are either of these improving the way we communicate? How are both of these skewing the line of civilized communication?

Self-Expression
The first extreme of communication is self-expression which has become an acceptable way to communicate today for most Americans. Unlike other countries, the United States does not have laws against hate speech. What a person says has no societal limitations in most settings. With this increase in self-expression, and decrease in societal parameters for civilized speech, the majority of the population feels they can say whatever they want—and for the most part they do. There is little thought put into what is said. Rather than considering how what is communicated might hurt or offend another, the priority is placed on voicing opinions without discretion, using uncivilized expressions, and being heard.

In the past, social standards influenced improper communication. In Roman and Greek cultures, speaking was seen as an art which had to be mastered before a person was given the right to speak on a topic. It could take years to master becoming an orator. The aspiring speaker had to first learn the art by studying the writings of philosophers, mastering grammar, and learning how to speak. In more modern times, within the United States, social standards set the acceptability of civilized speech and good etiquette. Even a minor comment could eliminate a person from social circles. Differences of opinion could certainly make for a worthy topic of discussion. However, being cordial was expected at a minimum for more vivacious discussions which could lead to arguments. It was possible for people to be accepted, although they might have differing opinions, and still be valued and respected with human dignity.

Within the last 50 years, there has been a shift to self-expression. The ability to say whatever is on a person’s mind is acceptable whether in person or online. There are hardly any limits to what a person may speak about. Open communication is seen as a way to provide transparency and the “honest story” of any person or situation. While this has many benefits, it crosses a line when dignity is stepped upon and boundaries are crossed. Consideration is necessary before speaking with regards to whom a person is talking to, if the topic is appropriate, and the choice of respectful words which are said for a pleasant conversation. Talking about anything can be very damaging. In fact, much of what people talk about has veered away from “ideas” and “intellectual topics”. Instead, what is more common is digressive speech such as gossip or speaking of topics which are inappropriate, very personal or sensitive in nature, or comments which might advertise the negative rather than focus on the positive. There is no preservation of the human dignity of a person. What needs to be said, is what is said, regardless of how it may hurt or offend the other person.

On social networks, a simple post can flare up into a war of replies within seconds. This trolling is often classified inaccurately as a “discussion” and “freedom of speech”. It would be better described as intolerance for a different view which triggers others chiming in to counter the post with an escalating degree of negativity and close-mindedness. These can occur even on simple posts that may not have any intent to attract opinions, but which result in a soapbox of negative, heated, responses. While self-expression allows for openness and problem solving, it can also open the door for adversity. Communication on digressive topics, and intentionally creating unnecessary conflict are examples of unhealthy communication. Speaking about anything without consideration of another person is rude and uncivilized.

The Power of Silence
The other extreme for communication is to choose to say very little or to remain silent. By speaking cautiously a person is more likely to preserve their good reputation. It also provides safety, by finding no partiality to any party or issue. The person remains politically correct by withholding an opinion. In many spiritual teachings, silence is perceived as golden. By remaining silent, a person can reflect wisdom. Remaining silent, a person does not reveal what they know or do not know. Likewise, by not speaking, there is less of a chance of speaking in an unintelligent manner, speaking offensively, or divulging information which should not be revealed. Remaining silent is also a way to absorb heated conflict, inappropriate speech, and to buy in time to respond with a more thoughtful response.

There is a time and a place to speak. George Washington said, “If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter”.  While we should speak out rather than remain silent on situations of injustice, on political views or ways that may affect our life, saying less, rather than more can be a way which contributes to civility. Voicing an opinion without consideration, can breed hate more than solve problems. This is where uncivilized speech occurs. In today’s culture, it is more likely that the freedom of speech is taken too far through the self-expression of uncivilized conversation. Self-expression can be the ignition of unnecessary conflict just to express an opinion. When freedom of speech is taken to this extreme, responding with silence can help swing the equilibrium of communication, bringing it back to more peaceful speech and civilized communication. Knowing when to speak and when not to speak is important.

Finding the Balance with Human Dignity and Respect
Some social and professional settings still have standards for communication, although uncivilized speech is more popular. Realizing that there is a place for self-expression while maintaining a standard for civilized communication is the challenge which we face today. Many do not recognize digressive communication. Being desensitized by the current standard, hardly anyone today questions inappropriate speech which is on the tongues of most and found in media and by leaders. If culture continues to accept digressive speech, it is a reflection on our country, acceptability for digression and lack of etiquette, and is an insult to the right to the Freedom of Speech which we have. The First Amendment was created for Americans to speak up for freedom and liberties for all. With an acceptability of hate speech and speaking on digressive topics, society is infected with negativity, hate, unacceptability, intolerance for differences, immaturity, a lack of professionalism, and lack of human dignity. It shows an inability to communicate and interact with others. For a country which prides itself on being a melting pot, this is not congruent. Although not everyone will get along, there needs to be a greater degree of respect for differences whether it is race, belief, lifestyle, ability, economic or any other characteristic. Valuing differences and human life needs a higher tolerance and acceptance. Inequality will always exist, but human dignity needs to be upheld. Since the primary problem of unacceptability stems from inappropriate speech, correcting communication that is off-balance can help set society upright to a culture with a civilized standard.


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Books
Freedom of Speech: Rights and Liberties under the Law (America’s Freedoms)
by Ken I. Kersch

Free Speech: Ten Principles for a Connected World
by Timothy Garton Ash

Free Speech and Censorship: Examining the Facts (Contemporary Debates)
by Harold L. Pohlman

Choosing Civility
by P.M. Forni

The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude
by P.M. Forni

The Case for Civility: And Why Our Future Depends on It
by Os Guinness

Mere Civility: Disagreement and the Limits of Toleration
by Teresa M. Bejan

Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior In Company and Conversation
by George Washington and Tony Darnel

Movie
Shouting Fire: Stories From The Edge Of Free Speech
Director: Liz Garbus
Documentary
Rating: NR

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Goals to Inspire Others

Choose to be a light of inspiration for all those who you encounter throughout the day. In how you communicate, what you do, and what you have to say, you have the ability to positively impact someone’s day. How you interact can cause a domino effect to affect others for better or worse. By resolving to raise your personal standard of etiquette, respect, and kindness, you will notice your relationships improve. Noticing an improvement with yourself, you will also see a significant change in how others interact with you. Living this way as a good example, others will also notice and re-evaluate how they are speaking and acting. You can be an example to others in the way you speech and act. Practicing good etiquette will add the dynamic components of respect, value, and human dignity to your relationships. Change the world! Inspire a culture of kindness and respect.


Search Amazon for inspirational books and audiobooks!

Cultivation of Empathy

In a world where we seem to be separating from each other with our ‘me-ism’, never in the history of mankind has there been a greater need for empathy and understanding of other people. Technology helps us connect, making it is easier than ever to communicate. Yet, despite this, we seem to be more focused on ourselves and our individual opinions than being genuinely concerned with the lives of other people. We can easily remain detached from each other, severing the connection at any time by turning off the switch to the device we are using or closing an app. On the other hand, technology can give us instant insights as to what another person is doing and how they are feeling within moments shared during their day. What is loss in technology is the invaluable human emotions which can only be seen and felt in person. The human relationship that exists with a face-to-face, real-time interaction, is where we connect on a human level, experiencing the joys, the sorrows, the presence of human souls in their existence, and in the way which humans were meant to connect. While technology is one way to extend empathy and connect, making time in person with people is where empathy is truly cultivated best.

We have our own social circles with family and friends where we find belonging. Belonging is one of the essential parts of human existence. Within these circles there are people who are accepted as part of them, and those who are not accepted. Developing a greater sense of empathy might be a consideration, for those groups or social circles which have an exclusive nature about them. Seeing people outside these circles as ‘outsiders’ and not acceptable, may be conquered with greater empathy, by understanding those who are different from us. It is easy to breed stereotypes and assumptions without truly getting to know others who are different. Finding common ground with ‘outsiders’, extends a hand of acceptance despite these differences. Rather than following assumptions, taking the opportunity to learn more about other beliefs first-hand or through research, is an opportunity to make a new friend rather than cause isolation. What better way to enrich a social circle than to use good etiquette and empathy toward other people and facets of life—and as an added benefit may learn from them as well.

What is interesting is that within some cultures, stereotypes and exclusiveness seem to be the quickest route to elitism. Cultures should find this appalling rather than applauding this. There is a special richness found when people of different backgrounds, each with their own stories, can contribute to circles with their individual qualities. Well-rounded people are those who have a rich portfolio of many kinds of friends and see human-value over differences. Typically those who travel the world are more likely to be accepting, as there is an appreciation for different cultures and beliefs. Those who work directly with people, such as caregivers also have a tendency to extend empathy easier because they see past medical and physical issues and are able to see the person. Young children also are naturally more empathetic in their innocence, blinded to the stereotypes which are formed even at an early age taught by their families and in social circles.

Additionally, media has an influence on cultivating empathy. Media can provide education in a unique way, where a person can learn about a situation first-hand by viewing it on screen or reading a description of it. Stories are a way to educate as they pull heart-strings and provide a chance to understand what it might be to “walk in another person’s shoes”. It may be easier for a person to find empathy with an actor who lives a situation within a movie, versus a stranger who we encounter in real life.

Empathy is a way to extend kindness to another person through understanding. It is with empathy that we find a path to growth. Cultivating empathy means finding opportunities to expanding our minds beyond ourselves to include another.

Article written for Zealousness publication
www.ineducationonline.org/e-magazine


Learn more about empathy…Find these on Amazon!

 

Cultivation of Empathy in the Classroom

How well can you relate to another person? Empathy is the understanding of another person and their situation. Within the classroom environment, there are a variety of learners each with individual learning abilities who come from different social classes. Students are at a disadvantage when they are seen as not meeting the ‘status quo’ of the class and are not accepted. A certain amount of empathy needs to come from teachers, parents, and classmates toward one another to unify the class and make it a positive learning environment.

There are several different categories for learning styles unique to each student. A student may be a kinesthetic learner, learning best working with their hands, while others might learn faster by listening, visually, or by reading. A teacher wanting her students to be successful, can be empathetic to the needs of the students by finding out which is easiest for them. By assessing the students at the beginning of the school year, and referring a student’s history from the previous year, the teacher can identify these needs. The teacher can then prepare lesson plans for diversified instruction to meet the needs of multiple learning styles. The teacher can consider what works best for each class and plan lesson plans accordingly. Additionally, students might learn best working individually, or they might be more social and enjoy group interaction. They might learn best depending on how the classroom is arranged such as having the desks in a circular setting, or several desks pushed together in groups, rather than in stark rows. Teachers can plan activities working in environments best suited to the class.

Teachers who notice frustrations and provide empathy to struggling students can make a difference in the life of the student. Learning is not just about achieving the highest grades, but learning how to stay motivated, having a good attitude, and working past hurdles. As a source of encouragements, teachers can make an impact on the life of the student on a personal level. Stepping out of the role of instruction-to grade book, teachers can extend a human heart to students who may not see past the next exam. In situations like this, teachers can leave a lasting impression to student, by offering additional assistance, reassurance, and encouragement—showing that he or she truly cares about them as an individual wanting them to be successful, beyond the grade book. Teachers can find the student a tutor, they can spend time explaining the material, or if it is a distraction which is affecting learning, a good teacher can dive in to get involved to find out more about the issue which is bothering the student.

Parents can also practice empathy toward teachers. While teachers need to meet expectations to teach, parents can also keep in mind that teachers have a classroom full of students and may be overwhelmed. This does not mean that parents should lower the bar in their expectation, but it may help with their communication as they speak their concerns to teachers. They can soften their demands by stating that they understand the teacher has large class sizes and even offer to see how they can assist the teacher.

Empathy can be taught by schools within classrooms for empathy between students. Students often face bullying in schools. Whether it is that “their hair looks funny”, “they can’t play ball” or “they are the slowest one in the class”, students need to learn to be more accepting of one another. These are life skills which are useful at any age and will help a student learn to work with people who may not be exactly like them.

By identifying cases where students might not fit in, teachers can proactively plan for ways to create a comfort level and safe environment for everyone in the classroom. Students in classes might need to adapt to classmates who are different from them. Empathy and welcomeness needs to be encouraged to help classes identify with students with physical disabilities, the special education student, an English language learner, a quick learner who is gifted, or maybe a student just transferred from another class, or one who is new to the school. Often times, addressing these students with a warm welcome from the teacher demonstrates acceptance. The teacher can also help answer questions which prevents gossip and isolation based on assumptions. By creating this sense of empathy and understanding, the class can accept the student with greater ease. For the student, the ability to be welcomed as an equal within the class and not stand out as an oddity is expedited, eliminating unnecessary attention drawn to them and subjecting them to a hostile environment.

Empathy is not necessarily acceptance. It is providing an understanding to a situation or finding a common ground in the case of differences. This understanding helps create community rather than create division. It is a positive way to build energy from which education and having healthy life-long skills of human relationships are cultivated.


Shop these books…

Teaching with Compassion
by Peter Kaufman, Janine Schipper

Hacking School Discipline: 9 Ways to Create a Culture of Empathy and Responsibility Using Restorative Justice (Hack Learning Series)
by Nathan Maynard and Brad Weinstein


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A Short Play on Etiquette: Goals for Etiquette and Manners in the Workplace

Scene 1:
In a conversation at work and there is another bomb being flung. Take smoking out of the workplace, and you still have the toxicity of profanity and gossip. Well it’s overtime to clean that up, but how, if the people in the workplace don’t find it important? Taking a quick look and checking the watch for the 4th time this hour, Sally still has not arrived at work or called to say she is going to be late. It may be because all last week the latest careless catch phrase was about her, and although it violated HR policies, no one seemed to care. Most people are hiding in their office and prefer to text interoffice rather than say hello and as a result team spirit is at its usual all-time low because no one knows each other, let alone cares to know each other. Cliques are common between small groups of 2-3 people and for associations that is about it. Co-workers love to talk. It’s safer to be an outsider. It shows potential for management or something…

Scene 2:
A customer walks into a business, “What a lovely day it is, maybe I will buy something.” Entering the store, she passes by an employee, and is ready to flash a quick smile hello, but then is puzzled by the insulting, sarcastic greeting which was said addressed to her. Ignoring it at first, what was said sets in and her eyes open wide in concern as it was about her. She continues through the store, grabs the items she came in for, and heads to the register. As she waits in line, the cashier is overheard spreading gossip to the person in front of her while checking out. Now, next in line, the cashier greets her with the standard, “How are you today?” The truth is, the sunshine has fallen considerably since she entered the store and now she is being attacked again at the register. Is the store really paying this employee? Are they this oblivious that this employee has their own agenda fed by the community to slander an individual? And to make matters worse, it is one of their customers? How on earth does this support the business? What would the CEO say? After filling out countless receipts at this store and other businesses, obviously the managers do not see it as a concern. These employees still manage to keep their jobs, while creating a discrimination issue that has caused significant loss not just with being publicly humiliated, but with her own employment search, and in many other facets of life including housing. Having communicated this to several, it seems to have no impact.

Scene 3:
“Praise God!” Isn’t that what church is about? Now it is like walking on eggshells. Going into any church, any verbal hate bombs can be heard at any time by random people, entire rows of people, those who strategically choose to intentionally sit right behind where you are, those serving, and leaders. Within an entire area of church communities and religions this hate, gossip and name-calling has become acceptable—and shunning for good values, not even bad ones. Is this the new trend for Church… Suddenly, the ‘Body of Christ’ takes on an entire different meaning. Since when was going to church about chanting sexual loyalty and requirements rather than about worshiping God? All parts of the Body of Christ [people] are important as part of the body although different. While there is a degree of acceptance within church communities, you have to think what people are really coming for and who is reading and living it and who is whipping it out differently with other agendas. Looking at the cross, it was the same for Him wasn’t it? People don’t seem to have changed much in 2000 years.

Scene 4:
“Whahahahahahahahha”, she twirls around the pencil in her hand as she debates her next hurl of words with the next guest, disposing unwanted information. With the front desk as her stage to be able to say anything, the books are a back seat for horror and murder. The fellow co-worker shelves it as a means to pass the time. They should be booked but for some reason this is the way customer service even at local libraries is now-a-days and is acceptable to stay employed.

Scene 5:
“Well good morning!”, greeting the co-worker with a big smile. “Thank you for letting me know the editorial is running a little bit behind schedule so we can plan to adjust the workload to meet deadlines. This will affect everyone on the team and  I know they will all appreciate the update.”

“Does anyone want to go to lunch today? I think we should celebrate that we were able to get that last project out the door despite all the hurdles and it turned out great too!”. 

“We will be sure to copy everyone who needs to be included on this project.”

“I am happy to assist you today. Please take your time and let me know if you have any questions.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you for shopping here today. We look forward to seeing you again soon!”

The company’s mission and motto are priority but politeness, consideration, and respect makes the team successful. Everyone is a winner because each brings unique skills to the table to contribute with. As a result, customers enjoy the business, and it breeds loyalty naturally as a good business, simply because it doesn’t foster gossip but is one that radiates positivity and customer service.

Watch this film online about 1950’s office etiquette!
Office Etiquette (1950): Courtesy & Manners in the Workplace Film


Enjoy plays? Want to learn more about office etiquette? Click to view more…

Books
Toxicity in the Workplace: Coping with Difficult People on the Job
by
Shonda Lackey PhD

 

Goals for Etiquette and Manners

Whether you are attending a social or business gathering, in line at the grocery store, or on the cell phone, it is important to remember to use good etiquette and have good manners. Do you catch yourself interrupting people? Using profanity? Speaking negatively? Destroying hope? Gossiping? Making remarks or nickname-calling which could be insulting and hurtful to another? Does the cell phone take priority over the person in front of you? These are just some ways which may be ideas to incorporate into your goals for 2020.

You might think to yourself you don’t do any of these that often, or that it isn’t that important. Take a tally of how often you do these and see which ones score the highest which you could set a goal for. Watch your relationships approve socially and professionally by practicing good etiquette and becoming more conscientious of being respectful.


Read more…Shop Affiliates!

 

2020 Accountability

A New Year and a fresh start! Most people have spent a few minutes reflecting on what they plan to achieve in the coming year. This chance for a new beginning brings a burst of energy to goals and projects. Although ambition is high, it is inevitable that human nature and schedules eventually win over against new resolutions. It is easy to not be as committed as priorities change and interest is lost. To stay on track, track your progress and re-evaluate your goals if need be to what is attainable.

When you make a list of goals for 2020, consider sharing your goals with another person who you can check-in with incrementally throughout the year. Brainstorm a list of rewards for yourself to keep you going by setting rewards for milestone achievements along the way. You can also keep track of your progress using a diary. Be sure to include the date, what you completed, rank of how it went, and what you hope to accomplish as the next step. Do you share a goal with another person? See if he or she would be interested in spending time on your common goal together. Working out is probably the #1 goal for New Year’s resolutions. If this is one of your goals, find a workout-buddy who you can go to the gym with on a regular basis and keep each other motivated and challenged. Add an element of fun to your goals and see your success skyrocket!

Have you considered setting goals for a higher standard for respect, etiquette, and kindness? Set goals for improved etiquette & manners, speech, kindness, and inspiring others! Everyone has areas to improve on. Set one goal or several! Your life will change for the better—you can count on it!


Read more. Shop these resources!

Loving Kind: Putting Others First

Love is a big word. It encompasses the feeling you with God, within romantic relationships, for your parents, your child, husband, wife, love for your dog, your favorite ice-cream, and when you enjoy an experience so much that you “just love it!”. In many relationships where there is love, there is also hate. A kind person focuses on seeing what they love rather than focusing on what they hate.

It is easy to be loving when people are nice. We often are very loving to our family and friends—but the people who take advantage of us or are rude and inconsiderate are more of a challenge. The hardest loving kind of task is to love the unkind, or the haters. This are the people who are difficult, who insult, are rude, and who you want to run the other way from rather than counter their rudeness with loving statements and actions.

One of the easiest ways to commit to being loving and kind is to always choose to love. Try using your smile on everyone you meet during the day, greet others with sincerity and warmth, think of thoughtful ways you can do things for another person, speak gingerly on sensitive matters, and give more hugs. Being a loving kind of person is being thoughtful when people are going through a difficult time, listening, affirming with words, or being supportive in other ways. It is choosing to always speak well of others, countering negative talk and gossip about others. It is being welcoming, inclusive, and excited to see someone, grateful they exist and appreciating their good qualities.

Kindness is love in action by having empathy and consideration for another person and acting upon it. We all can do this, even if it is in a small way. Notice people who could use extra kindness especially this month. You might pick a certain person and see what you can do over a certain amount of time. See how your kindness affects them. One of the easiest ways is in how we speak. Sincere compliments and words of kindness are rare. Notice who may need kind words and speak them. How many times do you catch yourself speaking hatefully? Speak only of the positive about anything and be generous in what you have to say about others.

Most of all, loving others means putting others first. Bring a smile on their face. When you love another person by considering their wants, feelings, and needs as a priority, you are being loving and the kind of person others want to be around. Practice kindness by loving this way to all you meet. You will increase in humbleness and you will see that you are loving people with your kindness without even trying.

When you love, it comes back to you in some way! It’s always worth being a loving kind of person—and run toward kindness as fast as you can!

—Clean Up Dallas with Culture and Kindness
@cultureofkind


Love to read more? Shop these books online…

The Power of Kindness:
The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life–Tenth Anniversary Edition

by Piero Ferrucci and Dalai Lama

HumanKind: Changing the World One Small Act At a Time
by Brad Aronson

The Hidden Power of Kindness: A Practical Handbook for Souls Who Dare to Transform the World, One Deed at a Time
by Lawrence G. Lovasik


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